Understand the Importance

Sometimes being quick to decide to enter into a relationship with someone without having gotten to know the important things can eventually leave you by yourself.  This was not the original goal.  The goal is to be in a loving, lasting relationship and not end up alone.  I have found that being so eager to be with someone without really getting to know them, their standards, beliefs, will often leave you disappointed, hurt, and trying to figure where you went wrong.

Being single is not something that many women want, but it is a realty many of us face even after having invested time and effort into a relationship we thought would be lasting.  The problem is that you cannot begin a relationship based on only hope alone because you are only making an investment in the superficial and not in the person.  You are looking at what you see but not really what's there.

Let me explain.  We get involved in relationships with people for many reasons and stay connected because of our need or desire to be connected, not because God's hand was in it.  We do not take the time to really get to know the person, but the desire to be connected is so great that we don't find out the reasons why this person shouldn't be in our lives.  So we end up being connected to someone that we are unequally yoked with because of lonliness or fear of being alone, but none of the reasons that matter.  You've got to look deeper than how they make your flesh tingle.  Any attractive brother can make your flesh tingle, but just because you tingle doesn't mean it's God.

Yes, he is fine and sexy, but does he share what you truly believe?  If you think that doesn't matter, let me help you...I've been down that road and does my single status explain my point?  It does matter what you believe, it does matter their values, it does matter if they share your heart's passion whether it be for ministry or whatever.  You will not be happy giving up who you are for some thighs and biceps.  You cannot walk with someone in life who does not share in who you are, what you want, or where you are going.  Don't fool yourself into thinking that God is going to somehow change this person somewhere down the road to make him into who you want him to be.  He is who he is and you are not going to change that.

Being equally yoked is so important.  It's critical.  Equally yoked is someone who believes what you believe the word of God says.  The bible tells us in 2Corin 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"  First, let me say just because people have different beliefs doesn't mean that I am saying that one is more righteous than the other.  Let me just put that out there right now.  In case you bible scholar try to chime in.  I will explain how that scripture is relevant.  When we say do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, how about people who do not share what your belief of what the bible says.  What is a believer, but someone who believes what the scripture says and has received the word into their hearts.  Meaning, they've received Christ, who is the word into their hearts and life.  That requires an embrace of the whole counsel of God's word.  So, if you believe Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the father and someone else worships Budda, what fellowship do you have with that person.  If you believe the scripture says that you must be born again and someone else believes that we are all God's children, being born again is not required, how can you share in a life together?  I will take it further, if you believe in God the Father, God the son, and God the Holyspirit, but someone else does not share in that same biblical principle, you are going to have problems down the road.  Are you ready for that?

You will live in misery for many years, miss God, and be limited in what God wants to do in your life when you walk with someone who does not share your faith.  Perhaps you think you can convince them to come over to your way of thinking?  Is it worth jumping into a relationship knowing that you will have trouble from the start.  You go in at a disadvantage.  Aren't relationships and marriage challenging enough without going in knowing that you have set yourself up to lose?  You've literally put yourself in a position to fight when a battle wasn't even necessary from the start.

We need to understand the importance of not settling for relationships that cannot go the distance.  Just because he's sexy that means little if he's sexiness is keeping you on lockdown from doing the will of God.  His sexiness won't give you the car keys when God calls you into evangelism because he doesn't believe that women should preach.  His sexiness wants you to put him first and God second.  We are so funny with our spiritual selves.  We think we can pray somebody into being who God wants for us.  Stop the foolishness please.  God's choice is tailormade.  It will not need you to pray over it, speak over it, throw oil on it, and speak tongues over it. 

There are just too many scenarios that I could throw out there, but I think you get my general meaning.  Don't limit what God wants to do in your life by accepting something different than what he had in mind for you.  Notice I did not say less, because I don't wish to devalue people.  Just because its the wrong choice doesn't mean the person isn't valuable.  God has something in mind for you, but you have to wait on what he has in mind and not be so willing to grab the first thing that comes along that looks good to your eye.  That apple looked really good to sleeping beauty too, but you know what happen to her.