MAN UP!!!

I just felt something in the spirit just from typing those very words, MAN UP!!!  Ladies, let me give you a tidbit here, we are not men women of God.  We are not the chaser, we are not the ones who should be running somebody down.  Our only real responsibility is letting the man know that we are interested.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes, especially when you are a woman in authority (leadership), men are afraid to approach and pursue.  But when you let them know of your interest (subtly) you put the ball in his court to man up and step up to the plate.

Now, let me help you with the letting him know of your interest part because some people will take that and just go way overboard with it.  We are not little girls women of God, so just because you are God's girl it does not mean you are not a woman.  So don't get all twisted over being real here.  You can still be a woman and God's daughter, it's permittable.  Women have a way of letting a man know that she's interested and you can still do that and be the woman of God that you are.  I'm not telling you to act like the women at the club, be manipulative, or trashy.  I've seen women practically run a brother down in church and trust me, that is a real turnoff for both men in the world and men in the church. 

So, no do not bring him plates every Sunday, do not wear revealing clothes, do not try to show him all your assets and goods.  Why? Just because he's a man of God doesn't mean he's not a man.  The same logic from a man in the world will come to mind when you use those tactics.  He will think that you are willing to compromise yourself.  He might be weak enough to take the bait, but do you really think that is going to convince him that you are the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with, share his vision and ministry with, and mother his children?  Ouch, I know that hurt a bit.  A man of God wants a wife, not a hooker.  I'm just saying.  If you are willing to use those tactics on him, he's thinking who else has she behaved this way in front of?  How far is she willing to go?

When you fall back a bit and allow him to be a man, then he can appreciate the kind of woman you really are.  Unfortunately, there are so many single women in the church that they just lose it when a single brother enters the sanctuary.  It's like a bunch of wild banshees screaming and running when a man comes into the room trying to get noticed.  The problem with that is, he is looking for the one God has for him with his spiritual eyes, not at your cleavage.  So, no matter how much of them you through in his face, if God has not given him a word concerning you, you may find yourself laid out on the altar having that lust demon cast out of you.  (I'm so bad today, I'm sorry).  You don't want to be one of those women that Timothy talked about in 2 Tim 3:6 a silly woman laden with sin, not able to control herself, full of lusts and foolishness.

I admonish you to observe the behavior of other sisters in the church and pattern yourself after seasoned women of God.  That does not necessarily mean aged women.  When I say seasoned, I mean women who walk maturely in the word of God.  When you patterned your behavior after women who aspire to walk in the whole counsel of God's word, you set yourself up to receive fresh oil that will bless you.  The oil runs down and blesses the house, does it not.  So when you pattern yourself after seasoned woman of God, you set yourself up to receive from God the same favor on that woman of God.  I like to use the Elijah and Elisha story.  Elisha patterned himself after that man of God, followed him closely and the same mantle on Elijah fell on him but multiplied.  God will bless you with like blessings when you keep yourself close to the anointing.

So women of God, don't be the man, let the man be the man.  You be the woman of God that you are.  Don't step out of position into manipulation.  Let him MAN UP~

"I DON'T NEED A MAN"

I know you have heard that come from the mouths of many women.  The first thing you think of when you hear that is, "then what do you want?"  I think that the perspective of what a man thinks and what women think when they hear this expression is entirely different.

From a man's perspective, they view a woman as saying that is she does not desire to submit to anyone or has a dominant spirit.  Very similar to that of Jezebel, controlling in a sense.  From a female perspective, women think when they hear this is that the person must be gay.  I have had a male pastor friend of mine rebuke a woman for saying that very thing.  I believe it's because our words produce things that perhaps we are not ready for.  When we speak things the enemy hears what we are saying as well and his interpretation will likely not be in the same spirit in which we meant it.  So when we put things like that out there, the enemy will use that to try to send things into your life that go against God's word.  It's like being vulnerable after a break up.

The devil wants you not want to be in covenant relationship with a mate.  There is another level of anointing that comes with being connected to someone with a like man.  God honors marriage and another level of favor comes with that connection.  I'm not saying the Lord doesn't appreciate, use, or honor us where we are.  The Lord used Paul mightily and he was not married.  God can use you whether you walk alone or with someone.  The thing becomes if you desire to be married or not.  There's nothing wrong with you not desiring it.  You will face criticism and people will tell you, you are out of the will of God for not desiring a husband. It's simply not true.  Being single allows you to give God all of your attention and how can that ever be wrong?  Why would God not like that?  There is certainly a difference between wanting something and needing something.

First let me define the word "need".  The word need means a requirement or necessity.  Need places value on you not being adequate or you lacking in some way unless you have a particular thing.  There is a definite difference between a need and a want.  A want is something you greatly desire and wish for.  You see the difference.  You need a place to live, but you want a mansion.  Do you need a mansion to have adequate accommodations?  The answer of course, is no.  You want a mercedes, but you drive a Toyota.  Do you need a Mercedes to get from one place to another, or will the Toyota get you there too?  I believe the Toyota will get the job done.

The world says that two halfs make a whole and even place that value on relationships.  The saying is "I need my other half".  But the fact of the matter is that we are complete in him and we do not lack in any way whether we are married or single.  We are still complete in him.  When God made man, he didn't make a half a man and a half a woman.  It's like saying someone needs to bring 50% into a marriage and the other person 50%.  Who are you giving the other 50 too?  That's not functional.  Having someone in your life does not make you whole, you should be whole before you have someone in your life.  When God formed mankind he put everything in him that would be adequate so that man could function, live, and walk in this life.  If the woman is pulled from man (Adam) then she has what is needed to do the same.  God's intention was that man and woman walk together, but not to complete each other, but that Eve would be a mate suitable for Adam, unlike the animals that God has previously made.  God said, it is not good that man be alone.  It wasn't because there was anything lacking in his creation.  So, he formed the woman so that man had someone he could relate to, someone compatible to him.

So, don't get mad at somebody for saying they don't need a man.  If you need one, what's wrong with YOU? Whatever it is that's wrong with you needs to be fixed so you will desire a husband and not need one.  If you are having financial struggles, want security, or whatever it is.  You need to fix yourself so you are not needy and desperate.  If you need someone to rescue you out of your present situation, you have some things to work on yourself.

If you are good and got it together, that's great.  You desire a husband, that's wonderful.  Let's change the way we think and the way we talk.  Do I need a man? No.  Do I desire a husband? Yes.  Just, not right now though!  I'm good.

MY LIBERTY

Do you ever wonder how an abused person can keep going back into the same situation over and over again?  I use to wonder that myself.  People stay in relationships for many reasons.  They go back for various reasons as well. Certainly, there are never good enough to justify staying in a relationship that harmful.  Sometimes people haven't a clue that they are even in an abusive relationship.  If you're not being hit, then you're not being abused, right?  But there are different types of abusers. 

Your personality type and your background dictate much about what you allow in your life.  Sometimes your personality draws the wrong people into your life over and over again.  We are really dating the same person, but they just have a different exterior.  It is because we have not dealt with some things within ourselves that we draw the same spirit over and over again.  Because it is a spirit.  A spirit of manipulation and control.  A witchcraft spirit that wants to influence and torment our lives.  When we think of witchcraft often, we think of someone that is just pure evil.  A controlling spirit operates sometimes subtle at first.  It works its way through your relationship until you are doing and saying everything the other person wants us to do.  We were active in our church, now we're not.  We use to hang with friends, now we don't.  We don't even go around our own family now, just his family.  You get my meaning?

This spirit takes many forms.  This abusive behavior. Our insecurities about ourselves will feed into an abusers power and give him complete authority over our lives.  Sometimes we don't even know we have an abuser drawing personality.  But the truth of the matter is if a person has ever been abandoned, rejected, and tramautized emotionally, there may be a door open to falling prey to this spirit.  You see, abusers don't necessarily have to hit you to be an abusive.  Emotional and mental abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.  The only difference is, it takes longer to see the physical affects of emotional abuse.  Eventually emotional abuse will cause physical changes, but physical abuse causes immediate changes.

A controlling person who constantly changes the rules of a relationship to suit his own personal needs without considering the other person is a form of manipulation and abuse.  What is once acceptable is no longer acceptable because somewhere within the relationship that person decided that they wanted to do something different, but they didn't ask or consider the other's opinion or feelings about it, they only began to judge you, criticize, and torment the other person until the will of that person was broken into doing what the abuser wanted. 

I know I'm going a little deep today.  One of the things that I have learned is that you have to know what happened so you can correct some things so in the future you will not continue to make the same mistakes.  In some relationships you will never know what happened.  For those busters that just ended the relationship and say stupid things like, it's not you, it's me.  You will never know what happened in that, but you can try to examine your choice and what you did in the relationship that might have lead to that conversation.  I know what I did in my past relationships. It's not easy looking at yourself because we always want to blame the other person entirely for what went wrong.  The reality is, that it takes two to make something work.  No one person is the blame for a relationship going wrong.  Don't you dare allow someone to tell you that you are entirely responsible for a relationship going wrong. It's simply not true.

We allow an abuser to be who they are in the relationship and give them power to manipulate us, use us, and control our lives.  How are we not contributing to that?  The truth is that we contribute to this behavior by allowing it.  But today I want to say to each of you that despite what anyone has done or said to tear you down, you have the power to overcome.  We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.  Greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world.  Christ has given us liberty and we must take possession of that liberty.  We have to own it.  It's not something that someone can rescue us from.  A person can be put into a protective shelter but the mentality that landed them there must be dealt with or they will continue to fall prey to the same type of behavior.  Because the behavior is not just the abuser, but it is the person who is also being abused.  Because being removed from one situation and not owning the responsibility that one played in it, will cause us to walk right into the same type situation again.  We have to own it and take possession of our liberty.  We have to know that we have a responsibilitiy in how people treat us.

You have to say it is my freedom because God has given it to me.  If behavior does not line up with how God says you should be treated, then you are under no obligation to remain in a situation that causes you to live beneath who God says you are.  You under no obligation allow the enemy to torment you for the sake of having someone in your life.  Do not let lonliness be the reason for allowing manipulation to rule in your life. You have to know who you are.  You have to know whose you are.  You have to not only know it, but demand that others respect it.

Where Is My Peace?

Colosians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

There are things and people the enemy uses to try to pull the foundation right from under you.  These people are used to disrupt your life, disrupt your purpose, and bring an end to your peace.  Peace is connected to your heart.  When your heart is affected by something it unsettles you and makes you feel chaotic within. 

It took me a long time to realize that I had given my peace away, when I gave my heart away.  There was something else ruling in my heart, not the peace of Christ.  My heart was displaced because my heart should have never been given away.  When we give our hearts away we give our peace away.  Our hearts should belong to the Lord, not to a person.  We've leant our place of contentment, our palce solace to someone who does not have the capacity or grace to handle it.  Only the Lord can handle the heart appropriately.  So when we give the power of our heart to someone, we've given them authority over the atmosphere of our lives.  Allowing them to invade into areas they don't belong.  That is why women find it so very difficult to get over things and suffer many years of pain and hurt over people.  We've given grace to people who were not capable or even called into that area of grace.

Our hearts indeed belong to God, but God has given us permission to love, but not to give our hearts away.  Everyone is always trying to find that one great love of their lives.  That is the world system, not God's system.  The problem is, God should be the only one true love of your life.  Everyone and anyone else should be loved with the measure of love that God has given us to love them with.  He has commanded us to love.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.  No where in there does it say give someone your heart and soul.  But his commandment is to love him with all our heart, all of our soul, all of our mind, and all of our strength.  If someone else has our heart, we are compromising God's commandment, our relationship with him, and allowing someone else to rule where only God should be.  When we give our hearts away to people there is a certain devastation that comes along with the end of the matter.  We would not feel this type of devastation when we follow the order of God's word.  With giving our hearts to God, there is no devasation with that relationship.  With giving our hearts to people, we feel anguish so deeply because we allowed that person into a place in us that they should not be. 

When our hearts belong to a person and they mishandle it there is no peace in our lives.  If you look back over relationships you will see that you invested all of your heart into someone, who mishandled it and your life was left in shambles because of it.  They didn't have the grace to handle what you gave them.  Don't give someone the responsibility of handling your heart when they are neither capable or adequately equipped to do so.  I've done that a few times and it took the Holyghost to bring me out of the state I was left in.  You cannot allow someone to rule the fragments of your heart.  That is the Lord's place.

I always thought that was the way it should be in a relationship with a person.  But not so.  When I realized I had given someone permission to intrude into my peace and to rule my heart, I had to acknowledge that it was my fault and make some corrections in my thinking.  We think we have to go all in and give our very soul to people.  This is not the will of God concerning us.  First of all, God is not going to allow you to stay in a relationship where he is not center of your life.  He wants to be first, he will be first.  God is a jealous God and will not allow someone to come in an take over your heart.  You will not have any other god's before him. 

Let the peace of God rule in your hearts and you can only do that when your heart belongs to God.  When it truly belongs to God.  So you ask, where is my peace, but your peace is in him.  It is not in your relationship.  It is not whether things work out with this one or that one.  I kept hearing someone in my past say all of the time, "I just want peace".  The problem with that statement is that this person's peace seeking was misdirected.  The person was looking for peace in a relationship with a person and not looking in the right place trying to find that peace. When you keep thinking that acquiring peace is changing partners or having that partner do what you think they should be doing, you will never have peace in your life.  Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives (Jn 14:27).  Nobody can give you something that only God was designed to give.  Looking to people to fulfill what God can only give will always have you asking where is my peace.  Give your whole heart to him and you will have peace even in the midst of trouble.

Understand the Importance

Sometimes being quick to decide to enter into a relationship with someone without having gotten to know the important things can eventually leave you by yourself.  This was not the original goal.  The goal is to be in a loving, lasting relationship and not end up alone.  I have found that being so eager to be with someone without really getting to know them, their standards, beliefs, will often leave you disappointed, hurt, and trying to figure where you went wrong.

Being single is not something that many women want, but it is a realty many of us face even after having invested time and effort into a relationship we thought would be lasting.  The problem is that you cannot begin a relationship based on only hope alone because you are only making an investment in the superficial and not in the person.  You are looking at what you see but not really what's there.

Let me explain.  We get involved in relationships with people for many reasons and stay connected because of our need or desire to be connected, not because God's hand was in it.  We do not take the time to really get to know the person, but the desire to be connected is so great that we don't find out the reasons why this person shouldn't be in our lives.  So we end up being connected to someone that we are unequally yoked with because of lonliness or fear of being alone, but none of the reasons that matter.  You've got to look deeper than how they make your flesh tingle.  Any attractive brother can make your flesh tingle, but just because you tingle doesn't mean it's God.

Yes, he is fine and sexy, but does he share what you truly believe?  If you think that doesn't matter, let me help you...I've been down that road and does my single status explain my point?  It does matter what you believe, it does matter their values, it does matter if they share your heart's passion whether it be for ministry or whatever.  You will not be happy giving up who you are for some thighs and biceps.  You cannot walk with someone in life who does not share in who you are, what you want, or where you are going.  Don't fool yourself into thinking that God is going to somehow change this person somewhere down the road to make him into who you want him to be.  He is who he is and you are not going to change that.

Being equally yoked is so important.  It's critical.  Equally yoked is someone who believes what you believe the word of God says.  The bible tells us in 2Corin 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"  First, let me say just because people have different beliefs doesn't mean that I am saying that one is more righteous than the other.  Let me just put that out there right now.  In case you bible scholar try to chime in.  I will explain how that scripture is relevant.  When we say do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, how about people who do not share what your belief of what the bible says.  What is a believer, but someone who believes what the scripture says and has received the word into their hearts.  Meaning, they've received Christ, who is the word into their hearts and life.  That requires an embrace of the whole counsel of God's word.  So, if you believe Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the father and someone else worships Budda, what fellowship do you have with that person.  If you believe the scripture says that you must be born again and someone else believes that we are all God's children, being born again is not required, how can you share in a life together?  I will take it further, if you believe in God the Father, God the son, and God the Holyspirit, but someone else does not share in that same biblical principle, you are going to have problems down the road.  Are you ready for that?

You will live in misery for many years, miss God, and be limited in what God wants to do in your life when you walk with someone who does not share your faith.  Perhaps you think you can convince them to come over to your way of thinking?  Is it worth jumping into a relationship knowing that you will have trouble from the start.  You go in at a disadvantage.  Aren't relationships and marriage challenging enough without going in knowing that you have set yourself up to lose?  You've literally put yourself in a position to fight when a battle wasn't even necessary from the start.

We need to understand the importance of not settling for relationships that cannot go the distance.  Just because he's sexy that means little if he's sexiness is keeping you on lockdown from doing the will of God.  His sexiness won't give you the car keys when God calls you into evangelism because he doesn't believe that women should preach.  His sexiness wants you to put him first and God second.  We are so funny with our spiritual selves.  We think we can pray somebody into being who God wants for us.  Stop the foolishness please.  God's choice is tailormade.  It will not need you to pray over it, speak over it, throw oil on it, and speak tongues over it. 

There are just too many scenarios that I could throw out there, but I think you get my general meaning.  Don't limit what God wants to do in your life by accepting something different than what he had in mind for you.  Notice I did not say less, because I don't wish to devalue people.  Just because its the wrong choice doesn't mean the person isn't valuable.  God has something in mind for you, but you have to wait on what he has in mind and not be so willing to grab the first thing that comes along that looks good to your eye.  That apple looked really good to sleeping beauty too, but you know what happen to her.

Deal With It

Sometimes you have to take a moment or two or even a while just to breathe in and out and look at where you've been so you see where you are going.  You've got to look at your past so you can go forward to your future.  I'm not saying that you go back into the past or even take steps backward, but you have to look at what you've just come out of so you will know how to deal with what's ahead.

You will never know if you are ready to be in a new thing, until you have dealt with the old thing.  If you keep latching to the old shoes, you will never have room for new ones.  Do you get my meaning?  Sometimes we need time to heal, mend, to release, to let go of, to detach.  Rushing into something new while you are still trying to deal with something old will mess the new territory up and sometimes delay the blessings that God had planned out for you.

I know it's been a minute, but I needed a minute to reflect and think about where I had been.  There are many women who do not like to deal with the pain of what they've come out of because it is a tough reality that it is really and finally over when you have to deal with the hurt.  I'm raising my hand because I bottle things up and try to pretend like I've dealt with things when I'm really still hurting secretly.  Then later down the road, I have an explosion of emotion.  And, oh, this is that thing that happened six months ago.  So, we are going to deal with what's happening now, in the now, so in the future there will be no more episodes of this is that thing.

God can and will mend your brokenness and all the pieces that are scattered everywhere that you have kept hidden from everybody.  Sometimes we try to be strong in front of people because we don't really want to be transparent.  We view our transparency as weakness.  But really the weakness is not allowing what is hidden to be seen so that the true deliverance and repair can be done in the heart and soul.  So we hide who we really are behind the mask of the face that we want people to see.  We hide behind our titles.  We hide behind our ministries.  We hide behind our children and do not deal with the things that are really going on down on the inside.  What we really want to do is just scream and cry and let go.  But so many of us don't do that because we are afraid to be judged, criticized, and put down.

The real tragedy is that we rob ourselves of really being free and are being held in stalled position.  You cannot move on forward until you let go of what you left behind.  You cannot let go of what you left behind if you are unwilling to deal with the pain of what's back there has caused you.  You have to learn to exhale.  You have to learn that dealing with your past does not mean ignoring your pain.  You have to learn that bottling up your emotions is not going to give you the desired results you are seeking.  You remember the woman at the well that had been in so many relationships.  There was something in her that made keep trying to work out in the flesh that could only be handled in the spirit.  So she kept going from man to man trying to find something that would mask whatever was going on inside her emotion.

You cannot run into another relationship thinking that what you've just come out of doesn't have to be dealt with.  The new relationship won't fix what happened in the last.  It won't make those feelings go away.  It won't cover up the hurt.  It won't repair the damage.  Just maybe you were not so wonderful in the relationship, so deal with it.  Maybe you made some mistakes, take responsibility.  Maybe you have some regrets, handle it.  Whatever it is, don't inhale, exhale. 

I've been there and don't that with trying to move on without dealing with what happened and it does not work.  Things do not pan out.  I know we all like to be deep and spiritual and want someone to give us a word instead of dealing with things ourselves.  But we don't need a word right now.  A word is not going to make the pain go away.  A word is not going to solve this for you.  Name by name, one by one, deal with each issues.  After you have done that, then cry your way through until....And I say until because it takes as long as it takes. 

For you that are in leadership....I've never been one who is afraid for people to see me cry.  Though as a leader, there are some things that you cannot share with the sheep because they have to be able to trust you, lean on you to give them direction.  Without being specific you can still as a leader get free.  You don't have to reveal all of your business for God to bring you out.  But, you do need to come out of the situation and be healed so that you will not minister hurt to the people.

Now, hear me in the spirit women of God.  Don't let people keep you in a place where you are held up from deliverance, where your breakthrough is being held hostage because the people want you to be superhuman or you are trying to be superwoman.  You are not superhuman, you hurt, bleed, and feel just like anyone.  You get your breakthrough.  I have seen too many leaders walk arrogantly and not allow God to break things off of them because of the people.  But we do the people of God a great disservice when we are not completely free.  So not only are we hurting ourselves but we are injuring the body of Christ.

So women of God, you are so lovely on the outside, let's make the inside of us as lovely, by allowing the Lord to work out of us the hurt place, the hard places, and the injured places.  Don't mask your pain, deal with it.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

I am sitting in between the mountains of West Virginia this morning, having pour out of my spirit on last night preaching.  I am still processing the word I preached last night that the Lord gave me.  You know as single women of God, we devote our entire selves to the service of the Lord and we ascribe to do the will of the Father always.  I am reminded of how wonderful the Lord has been to me since I began this walk as a single woman of God.  I have had my struggles, mostly from what the enemy has been trying to do to block me from my destiny. 

I find it interested that certain attention comes to you more when God is pushing you forward and trying to stretch you from the place you are at and take you into another place.  You get more people who are trying to get at you, trying to distract you, and move you away or at least grab your attention so that your focus is not central on the will of God.

Such has been the case for me, I believe if you will take a careful look at some of your lives, it has been a pattern. As soon as you get to a place when God can really use you and take you somewhere in ministry, that is when the enemy will send a distraction that will set you back for sometimes years at a time.  Before you realize it every thing that you knew you were supposed to be doing has stopped and time has passed you by so much so that you feel you can never get back on course for God's plan for you.

Sometimes the enemy will deliberately send people into our lives to this very thing to us because he's knows if we ever get to where we are really free to hear from God that we will no longer fall for his devices.  So, I said that to say to you be mindful of what God is saying to you.  There are many things that pull on you in the natural that are devised to snag the anointing on your life.  Sometimes it can be our children, sometimes our jobs, sometimes our significant other.  Whatever it is, be mindful that the things you give your attention to do not detract from the things that God has called you to.

Don't let another season pass you by that you miss what God has planned for you to do in that season.  Don't let another opportunity to do the will of the Lord for your life slip by.  Don't let stuff get into the way. I know you might be stretched in your responsibilities.  I know it might be difficult to maintain and it might be so much easier to just to marry someone who could help lessen the load.  But marrying someone who does not understand the purpose of God in your life will further stiffle your ability to do the will of God.  It will not help you reach your purpose any sooner.  You want to marry the person that was made for you, not someone who is just filling in and will fall short in so many areas and not measure up to the man God really has for you.  It is worth waiting on the right one.  The right one will add value to your life, your purpose, and will not hinder your destiny.

Can I get an amen.

Don't Let it Go to Your Head

As I walked through the airport at the wee hours of the morning I know it is early but I make it a point to look my fabulous best when I'm going anywhere. So I walked through and turned some heads and got some flirts.  The difference between me and the average sister is I don't get off on that kind of attention.  I know even with all of my fabulousness their is a mandate on my life.

I have to be mindful of who I am at all times and not let things that don't add value to who I am turn my head. Use the attention to me to turn the attention to HIM. It'sreally an opportunity for you to share Jesus or speak an encouraging word.  Most of the time it is the anointing on you that has drawn them even if you are fabulous.

Try not to let the attention draw you out of character.  Try to maintain the same level of character you would if you were standing before the people of God ministering. Though it's nice to be acknowledged for the awesome treasures we that's really all it is an acknowledgement of what you already know so really why would you let the truth go to your head?

Don't Let em See You Sweat!

You are nervous going out on your first date after having been thrust into this new state of being.  Although the excitement of having a date makes you blush every time you think about it, having to prepare for the date and what to say or do once you get there is making you sweat!

I have some do's and don'ts that I've compiled from various location along with my own personal thoughts as well.

On a first date, first you do want to be yourself.  If you try to be someone other than who you are, it will give him a false sense of who you are and you cannot keep up this performance forever.  So let him know who you are by being relaxed, but truly being who you are.  If he doesn't like who you are, at the end of the day, do you really want to be in a relationship with him?  I hope the answer is no.  Don't conform, be yourself.

Be a good listener.  You want to listen because the Holyspirit will be speaking as well while on your date.  You want to make sure that you hear clear direction from the Lord.  Sometimes you will not hear it right away, but somewhere through the conversation, you may hear something and God will speak to you and tell you, yes, no, wait, or run.

Try your very best to have fun.  Don't be so unguard that you don't have a good time.  Perhaps, somewhere during the outing, you may find that the Lord has told you, he's not the one, just enjoy your evening and end it as friends.  Have a good time.

Here are some don'ts with my two-cents added in.

Don't pretend to be someone you're not.  Don't pretend to be someone you know he wants when its not you.  Your acting performance will only end up in someone getting hurt in the long run.

Don't dismiss him for one minor infraction (such as being little late, talking with his mouth full).  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Don't write him off because his shoes don't match his pants.  There is a difference between the Holyspirit speaking to you about something and you tripping over something minor.  Get over yourself, you have minor issues too.  Give the man a chance.

Don't get angry if he's not a gentlemen or hints toward you going dutch.  Just know next time to say no if he asks you out again.  I would not go out with a man who is not a gentlemen.  Some say chivalry is dead, but it's alive and well in my life.  So, yes open my door for me, I love it. 

Don't leave him hanging wondering if you like him or not.  That is so not cool.  I'm not saying behave improperly or unlady like.  There are small ways you can let him know that you are interested without compromising yourself in any way.  The way you smile at him or just saying you look forward to talking again soon.  Don't be pushy.  Oh, personally, I would not kiss him on the first date.  I'm just saying.  Earn the privilege.  

Don't invite him into your house for coffee!  No, mame, don't do it.  Drink your coffee at Starbucks.

Do wear something cute, but don't go looking like a for sale sign to your date.  I have seen so much low-class dressing at church of late, I can only imagine what one would wear out on a date, if some of things I see being worn to the house of God. Yall, don't get me started on that.

Don't give the milk away free.  Don't look at me, like you don't know what I'm talking about women of God.  First of all, you know the word.  Hold onto your virtue.  If he is the one, he's worth the wait.  If he's not, then you've compromised your standard and God's word for someone who has walked in your pasture without authorization.  No unauthorized entries.

Last, but not least, watch out for the spirit of manipulation.  It's alive and well and trying to work its way through all the single sisters in the church.

Be blessed women of God and don't let em see you sweat!

You Are not Abandoned

Matthew 28:20(b) Lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world
John 14:18 (NLT) No, I will not abandon you as orphans--I will come to you.

Fighting the feelings of abandonment often crop up when you have gone through a rejection situation.  A rejection situation is a like a form of abandonment.  Abandonment is defined as withdrawing support or help despite allegiance or responsibility; the act of giving something up; getting rid something that is regarded as useless or undesirable.  The feelings of abandonment leave you feeling as if you are not desirable, wanted, good enough.  Although you have given your complete allegiance, sincere efforts, and love into the other person, you did not receive back from them the same loyalty, love, and support.  This can leave you feeling rejected and abandoned.

I know that there are many of you women of God who have faced this throughout live, some in childhood with your parents, some in relationships, and some feelings of rejection come from not being able to effectively build relationships with people in general.  Our childhood rejections have much to do with how we deal with our current relationships.  People who are rejected often feel compelled to latch on to other people and not let go whether emotionally or physically even if you are being hurt by the person you are clinging to.  Deep feelings of abandonment come in most of us because of how we feel about ourselves.  There is a certain level of abandonment one will feel from circumstances, but deep feelings of abandonment and rejection that cause us to slip in areas of our lives that we perhaps shouldn't struggle come because we have not embraced fully confidence in who we are as women and we have not allowed the Lord to strip some things off of us.

I was one of those people who had deep feelings of abandonment because of childhood issues and it birthed insecurity in me, made me take more than I should, and cling when I should let go.  So, if that's you as well, let me help you today.  There is something greater in you that God has wanted to do. If it had not been so, then the enemy would not have started when you were a child.  You remember when the enemy found out that Christ would be born and he devised a plan to kill all of the newborns to keep the savior from being birthed.  But his plan failed and the Lord was birthed into the earth to bring deliverance to the captive.  The enemy started early trying to come against the plan of God.  That's what he does when he's trying to stop purpose.  Had you not had purpose on your life that could be a great threat to him, he would not have worked so diligently to come against you.

I have learned when everything and everybody else fails and walks away, I am still not alone.  I have been walking through the desert recently, but while in the desert, I found that God has never left me, nor forsoke me.  I've found that when there is an uprising, that I can trust God to defend me.  I've found that it is better to put your confidence in God and not man, because God is always loyal and never changes.  He doesn't flake out on you because his feelings are his word and his word does not change.  He's God and he fails not and changes not.  And get this, where people will walk out on you, God says he'll never leave you nor forsake you and be with you till the end of the world.  How many people do you believe will have that same acclamation and that you can confidently trust they will actually be consistent with this word?  But when the Lord says it, you can bank on it. 

In John 14:18, he says he will not abandon us.  He was so concerned and loving that he sent a helper for us so that we would not be alone in our circumstances, so that we did not have to handle things on our own, that we did not have to walk on our own.  He did not leave us without counsel or someone who when we are in the desert would be right there with us to strengthen us through whatever storm or battle that we had to ensure. He, the holyspirit, is also called a comforter.  In those times, we feel we are so overwhelmed with life's problems and circumstances, he (holyspirit) is there to comfort us with the word of God to show us and teach us that the Lord is the strength of our lives.

So my sisters, I want to encourage you and let you know today that you are not alone.  You have not been abandoned.  Things changed, people left, you are by yourself, but you are NOT ALONE.  God is with you, God is in you, and God is on you.  You are covered in all areas.  It does not take a warm body to have someone walk with you.  Some people are not accustomed to being by themselves.  I, myself, have been married most of my adult life, so I am having to learn to embrace where I am right now.  If, that's you today, know this, God has you covered.  He has you covered and you are not alone and God has not abandoned you.

It's Only a Test

The enemy will test to see whether you will stand by the decisions you have made because it was the will of the Lord for your life.  I think I've been tested so much in recent months, I'm not sure if they're any left.  I've felt like I have been in the frying pan.  I know some of you can relate to what I'm talking about.  There is always a test.

Knowing this that the testing of your faith working patience or perseverance (James 1:3).  Sometimes you may question whether you've made the correct decisions in life because how it makes you feel in your emotions.  But I've said many times and I will say this again, you're emotions will get you into trouble.  God wants us to walk in the Spirit, for as many as are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God (Romans 8:14).  If you are not being led, how can you attest to being a son of God.  The only way you can know him is by his Spirit.  You cannot know him by the flesh, so if you are not being led by the Spirit....how is it possible that you know him?

So, I said all of that to say this, we get so confused and lost in our emotion that it is difficult sometimes to make sense of life's changes and circumstances.  It is so easy for women to get caught up.  I have been so side-tracked and caught up in my emotions that I could not seem to fight my way out of a dry paper bag.  Women are emotional beings, but when you are a son of God, we have to work toward listening to the Spirit of God and being led by the Spirit of God, so our decisions won't be based on how we feel at the time.  Because your feelings change all the time and what you feel today, you may not feel tomorrow, but God's word is the same yesterday, today, and forever more.  That is the thing to rely upon, not how we are feeling at the time.

I was once in a relationship and I was so deeply in love that not only did common sense go out the window, but the prayer life suffers, the study life suffers, etc.  I let my emotions dictate to my spirit instead of the other way around.  I think in these situations the enemy is testing whether we will remain faithful to God.  God is looking to see whether we will be faithful as well.  After all, we cried and prayed asking him to send us someone and when he does, we toss everything to the wind and do not remain faithful to him.  Okay, I know I got sidetracked here.  But this really does relate to being testing in some areas, making decisions, and remembering the decision and not backing up from it.

I want us to remember that there are reasons why God led us down the path of decisions that were made.  There is reason why we said its time to move on.  When those emotions crop back up to remind us of how things were in the past, we have to remember the reason why God led us down that path.  He will gently remind us of it, but we have to be willing to stick to what he told us.  The only reason the emotions crop back up is because the enemy is trying to get a foothold in there and take us backwards instead of forward.  He knows that if we go back down the path that God has lead us away from that we will miss God and abort the purpose that God has put in us.  We will lose more valuable time and abandon everything God has brought us out of to go right back into the bondage.  Is that what you want for your life?  I know it's not what I want for my life.

When I realized that it was a test and it was abundantly clear.  It's like a cloud of emotion rushes over you and temporarily fogs your judgment, then God gives you a nudge and shows you what he had already shown you in the past to remind you of why you are not in that situation any longer.  Then the tears stop flowing and cloud is removed and you can see again.  I don't know about you, but I thank God for Holyghost.  If it had not been for the Lord who was on my side, they enemy would indeed have swollen me up a long time ago.

Know that the things that are coming at you from the past is a test.  Just as Jesus walked on through the 40 days of temptation and put the enemy to flight with the word of God, you do the same when the enemy brings things from your past to try to take you backwards.  

SILENCE THE VOICES

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I have learned that it is easy for other people to give their words of wisdom, offer their advice, and try to give you an encouraging word when everything is wonderful in their own lives.  I know you as single women of God have had people preach, teach, and speak do this, do that, stand strong, keep em up, keep em closed, etc.  You know what I mean.  But really, you cannot effectively preach to someone to stand if you do not know what it means to stand yourself.  You cannot preach to someone don't do it, if all you've been doing is doing it.  You can't tell me to fight if all you do is give up.  You can't tell me to be strong, if you are weak.

In other words, how can someone who has warm thighs and tight abs to go home to every night tell me to stand and it will be alright and just hold out when you don't have the same situation as me?  You can empathize, you can give me a word, but you really don't understand my story.  If my situation hasn't touched you, you can't identify with my pain. 

When people try to speak over you who can't really relate, it's like having some one rub you with a scouring pad and comet.  It leaves you feeling raw, abused, and like you are somehow less spiritually competent because you can't be like them. But the reality is their situation is unlike yours so it is easy for them to speak down to your situation when it has never been relevant to them. 

God has used some people to do just that, those who have not walked in your shoes, those who cannot relate to your pain.  Those are special ministries, everybody does not walk with this gifting.  Jesus was tempted at all points, so that he knew and understood what things man would face AND so that all the things man would face he could defeat them and put them on the cross.  Yes, God does use special individuals who do not share the same circumstances to speak things into your life.  Those who can preach with both compassion and understanding.  This is a place that only the spiritually mature can walk in.  That's why God pours into some people who have never walked in your shoes, but yet can preach a word that speaks to your situation.  Maturity in the spirit has driven them to that place because they preach from a place of where Jesus has been, so it identifies with your spirit.  Then there are those who are trying to copy-cat and neither have the compassion or anointing to pull it off and they're messing a bunch of people up.  Those are the folks I'm talking about that leave you feeling inferior and spiritually raped.

What I want to say to you today is, don't let people pick on you because you want a husband.  Some of them have one, didn't have to wait, some of them don't want one and think everybody should feel as they do, and some of them just don't like men.  Whatever the case, there is nothing wrong with you wanting one.  Guard what you know in your heart God has given you for it is relevant to your life and purpose.  It doesn't matter who doesn't understand the things the Father has spoken to you concerning your life.  You do not have to feel like you are missing God because someone else thinks your heart's desire is not God.

Folk should not preach like there's something wrong with you for wanting God to bless you in the same way that he has blessed them.  It's not okay for them to do this and it's okay for you to want more and ask God for what you want.  Just don't be consumed and overtaken by the desire to have those things, that you lose perspective and focus on your kingdom assignment.  I think we both can agree that the assignment is more important than the husband. I didn't hear amen.  Do I need to repeat that last sentence??  Don't make me come to your house.

Some people might understand some of the things you go through.  I can relate to some things you go through having gone through a great deal myself.  Even in the things that I've gone through and the things I've struggled with there will be areas that are unchartered territory "for me" when it comes to someone elses life and that is when I rely upon the Holyspirit.  You yourself must learn to do that more and more.   I have found that God understands every single thing that we struggle with and every single desire of our heart.  He will give you wise counsel in what to do and lead you into all truth. The Holyspirit will speak to your heart and instruct you in everything the Father says. To be certain, you need to ensure that not only you are living a Spirit led life, but those who would pour into you as well.  If you are listening, make sure that their lives also reflect the image of Christ.  

So what I'm saying to you, when so many voices are coming at you and telling you this, that and other the only important one is that of the Holyspirit.  Listen to him and his direction.  If you hear the voice of the Holyspirit coming through someone other than your spirit, weigh it against the word to confirm.  My sheep know my voice sayeth the Lord (John 10:27).  Know the voice that you are listening to.  When you do, you will know if you should receive it and you will feel less pain having heard someone try to speak things over you that was not hearing from God. You want someone in your ear that is sound and lines up with the word of God.  If anyone or anything steers you away from him, it is not the voice of the Lord. 

You can have whatever God says you can have.  You can do and go wherever God says.  You do not have to be bound by some prophetic word someone gave you that spoke against what God told you.  If the Holyspirit in you does not witness to the word, shake it off and keep it moving.  I still believe what the Lord told me just a couple of months ago concerning many things that there is yet no physical manifestation, in fact, my situation got worse after God told me, however the confirmation is in my spirit. Just because circumstances changed, does not mean God changed his mind. We can't get so caught up in the circumstance, we need to get caught up in Jesus.  When we do this we will begin to see the latter is going to be greater than the former.  You thought you had it good then, but you just wait till God finishes what he started.  Because everything he said and what you have believed will begin to manifest.  So silence the voices that would speak against what God has said and follow the Holyspirit and his divine plan for your life despite the naysayers.