"I DON'T NEED A MAN"

I know you have heard that come from the mouths of many women.  The first thing you think of when you hear that is, "then what do you want?"  I think that the perspective of what a man thinks and what women think when they hear this expression is entirely different.

From a man's perspective, they view a woman as saying that is she does not desire to submit to anyone or has a dominant spirit.  Very similar to that of Jezebel, controlling in a sense.  From a female perspective, women think when they hear this is that the person must be gay.  I have had a male pastor friend of mine rebuke a woman for saying that very thing.  I believe it's because our words produce things that perhaps we are not ready for.  When we speak things the enemy hears what we are saying as well and his interpretation will likely not be in the same spirit in which we meant it.  So when we put things like that out there, the enemy will use that to try to send things into your life that go against God's word.  It's like being vulnerable after a break up.

The devil wants you not want to be in covenant relationship with a mate.  There is another level of anointing that comes with being connected to someone with a like man.  God honors marriage and another level of favor comes with that connection.  I'm not saying the Lord doesn't appreciate, use, or honor us where we are.  The Lord used Paul mightily and he was not married.  God can use you whether you walk alone or with someone.  The thing becomes if you desire to be married or not.  There's nothing wrong with you not desiring it.  You will face criticism and people will tell you, you are out of the will of God for not desiring a husband. It's simply not true.  Being single allows you to give God all of your attention and how can that ever be wrong?  Why would God not like that?  There is certainly a difference between wanting something and needing something.

First let me define the word "need".  The word need means a requirement or necessity.  Need places value on you not being adequate or you lacking in some way unless you have a particular thing.  There is a definite difference between a need and a want.  A want is something you greatly desire and wish for.  You see the difference.  You need a place to live, but you want a mansion.  Do you need a mansion to have adequate accommodations?  The answer of course, is no.  You want a mercedes, but you drive a Toyota.  Do you need a Mercedes to get from one place to another, or will the Toyota get you there too?  I believe the Toyota will get the job done.

The world says that two halfs make a whole and even place that value on relationships.  The saying is "I need my other half".  But the fact of the matter is that we are complete in him and we do not lack in any way whether we are married or single.  We are still complete in him.  When God made man, he didn't make a half a man and a half a woman.  It's like saying someone needs to bring 50% into a marriage and the other person 50%.  Who are you giving the other 50 too?  That's not functional.  Having someone in your life does not make you whole, you should be whole before you have someone in your life.  When God formed mankind he put everything in him that would be adequate so that man could function, live, and walk in this life.  If the woman is pulled from man (Adam) then she has what is needed to do the same.  God's intention was that man and woman walk together, but not to complete each other, but that Eve would be a mate suitable for Adam, unlike the animals that God has previously made.  God said, it is not good that man be alone.  It wasn't because there was anything lacking in his creation.  So, he formed the woman so that man had someone he could relate to, someone compatible to him.

So, don't get mad at somebody for saying they don't need a man.  If you need one, what's wrong with YOU? Whatever it is that's wrong with you needs to be fixed so you will desire a husband and not need one.  If you are having financial struggles, want security, or whatever it is.  You need to fix yourself so you are not needy and desperate.  If you need someone to rescue you out of your present situation, you have some things to work on yourself.

If you are good and got it together, that's great.  You desire a husband, that's wonderful.  Let's change the way we think and the way we talk.  Do I need a man? No.  Do I desire a husband? Yes.  Just, not right now though!  I'm good.