Deal With It

Sometimes you have to take a moment or two or even a while just to breathe in and out and look at where you've been so you see where you are going.  You've got to look at your past so you can go forward to your future.  I'm not saying that you go back into the past or even take steps backward, but you have to look at what you've just come out of so you will know how to deal with what's ahead.

You will never know if you are ready to be in a new thing, until you have dealt with the old thing.  If you keep latching to the old shoes, you will never have room for new ones.  Do you get my meaning?  Sometimes we need time to heal, mend, to release, to let go of, to detach.  Rushing into something new while you are still trying to deal with something old will mess the new territory up and sometimes delay the blessings that God had planned out for you.

I know it's been a minute, but I needed a minute to reflect and think about where I had been.  There are many women who do not like to deal with the pain of what they've come out of because it is a tough reality that it is really and finally over when you have to deal with the hurt.  I'm raising my hand because I bottle things up and try to pretend like I've dealt with things when I'm really still hurting secretly.  Then later down the road, I have an explosion of emotion.  And, oh, this is that thing that happened six months ago.  So, we are going to deal with what's happening now, in the now, so in the future there will be no more episodes of this is that thing.

God can and will mend your brokenness and all the pieces that are scattered everywhere that you have kept hidden from everybody.  Sometimes we try to be strong in front of people because we don't really want to be transparent.  We view our transparency as weakness.  But really the weakness is not allowing what is hidden to be seen so that the true deliverance and repair can be done in the heart and soul.  So we hide who we really are behind the mask of the face that we want people to see.  We hide behind our titles.  We hide behind our ministries.  We hide behind our children and do not deal with the things that are really going on down on the inside.  What we really want to do is just scream and cry and let go.  But so many of us don't do that because we are afraid to be judged, criticized, and put down.

The real tragedy is that we rob ourselves of really being free and are being held in stalled position.  You cannot move on forward until you let go of what you left behind.  You cannot let go of what you left behind if you are unwilling to deal with the pain of what's back there has caused you.  You have to learn to exhale.  You have to learn that dealing with your past does not mean ignoring your pain.  You have to learn that bottling up your emotions is not going to give you the desired results you are seeking.  You remember the woman at the well that had been in so many relationships.  There was something in her that made keep trying to work out in the flesh that could only be handled in the spirit.  So she kept going from man to man trying to find something that would mask whatever was going on inside her emotion.

You cannot run into another relationship thinking that what you've just come out of doesn't have to be dealt with.  The new relationship won't fix what happened in the last.  It won't make those feelings go away.  It won't cover up the hurt.  It won't repair the damage.  Just maybe you were not so wonderful in the relationship, so deal with it.  Maybe you made some mistakes, take responsibility.  Maybe you have some regrets, handle it.  Whatever it is, don't inhale, exhale. 

I've been there and don't that with trying to move on without dealing with what happened and it does not work.  Things do not pan out.  I know we all like to be deep and spiritual and want someone to give us a word instead of dealing with things ourselves.  But we don't need a word right now.  A word is not going to make the pain go away.  A word is not going to solve this for you.  Name by name, one by one, deal with each issues.  After you have done that, then cry your way through until....And I say until because it takes as long as it takes. 

For you that are in leadership....I've never been one who is afraid for people to see me cry.  Though as a leader, there are some things that you cannot share with the sheep because they have to be able to trust you, lean on you to give them direction.  Without being specific you can still as a leader get free.  You don't have to reveal all of your business for God to bring you out.  But, you do need to come out of the situation and be healed so that you will not minister hurt to the people.

Now, hear me in the spirit women of God.  Don't let people keep you in a place where you are held up from deliverance, where your breakthrough is being held hostage because the people want you to be superhuman or you are trying to be superwoman.  You are not superhuman, you hurt, bleed, and feel just like anyone.  You get your breakthrough.  I have seen too many leaders walk arrogantly and not allow God to break things off of them because of the people.  But we do the people of God a great disservice when we are not completely free.  So not only are we hurting ourselves but we are injuring the body of Christ.

So women of God, you are so lovely on the outside, let's make the inside of us as lovely, by allowing the Lord to work out of us the hurt place, the hard places, and the injured places.  Don't mask your pain, deal with it.