Saying Goodbye

Psalms 126:5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

So many tears, so many nights spent with a heavy heart and even after time has past its still hard to say goodbye.  A writer wrote a song years back, "its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" The lyrics to that song are:

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The goodtimes that made us laugh
outweigh the bad

I thought we'd get to see forever
but forever's gone away
it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

I brought that song up to remind us of a particular part in this song.  The line that reads "the goodtimes that made us laugh".  The reason for that is that we sometimes forget when its time to say goodbye the reasons why we leave and tend to focus on the things that made us stay.  The things that made us leave although may be fewer than the goodtimes, they are more significant.  The hurt and feelings of rejection, the brokenness and even while you walked together you felt like you had been walking alone.  That's why you walked away. There was too much division, the will of God could not be performed in the union, the purpose of God was being halted, and you cried and prayed and prayed and cried.

You sowed so many tears, you could replenish a lake in drought.  You cried so many nights and beg God to change things.  God will not override someone's will.  The proud and rebellious will do what they will.  So your prayers God did hear, but his hands are tied when someone will not and is unwilling to submit to his will.  But now when its time for you to face the past and kiss it goodbye and bid it farewell, your heart goes back to places that were indeed powerful and filled with emotion and passion.  But passion is of the flesh and emotion pulls to your carnal side rather than your spirit man.  So although those things surface they are not the will of God nor are they coming from the Spirit of God.  It is just your desire to mend what is unrepairable and already finished.

It is indeed hard to say goodbye to yesterday, but saying goodbye to yesterday is necessary so that you can see what's coming in front of you.  Yesterday is behind you and you can't see with your head looking back.  Your weeping may endure for a night but joy indeed comes in the morning.  You're crying now, but joy will be restored in time.  Every tear that you have sown God will restore your sorrow with joy.

This is not the time to step backwards, step side ways, or question the decisions you have made.  God brought you this far.  You came this far by faith, you came this far by trusting God,  you came this far by believing God.  Keep holding on even now when the core of your emotion fills your throat and choke the words in your mouth.  Hold on!  Hold fast!  Hold up! 

Yes, you can say goodbye and mean it and not look back anymore.  Time does not go backwards.  It does not stand still.  But it presses forward, so must you.

WHY CAN'T I MOVE ON?

Some of you may be struggling with why can't I let this thing go? I had difficulty trying to figure that same thing out myself, although I had given counsel to others on the same matter but didn't receive that same counsel for myself.

I looked around my place and saw momentos and gifts, tokens of affection given to me.  I looked on my computer and phone, there were pictures.  Is there no wonder it is difficult to move on if constant reminders are everywhere around me?  How is that we think we can somehow move past something that is always right there in our faces? 

The fact is if the relationship was more than a casual, like for some of us marriage and some physical birthed out of disobedience.  There is a soul-tie that has been developed from the relationship that needs tending to so that you can detach and disconnect from what has you tied up.  It's a form of bondage because anytime you exchange body fluids with someone a deposit is made in you and residue of their characteristics are left with you.  That's why there are so many flipped out women running around because too many deposits have been made in them and they have not been delivered from the soul-ties.  In other words, deposits were left, but nothing went out.  That's why some women don't know who they are because they have too many people's residue in them.

If you notice that any time you have a physical relationship with someone that over time you begin to have some of the same behavorial characteristics.  You pick up some of their habits, they pick up some of yours, etc.  You begin to act similarly.  When we come out of relationships it is important that we get delivered from the ties that bind.  It's not just the material things, but those things do keep things alive in us, but its more the attachment in the spirit that I'm talking about.

If it was a relationship birthed out of sin you will have to repent and denounce.  What you want to have happen is for God to release that thing from out of your spirit. A relationship birthed out of sin and disobedience, keeping momentos is a bad idea.  It's like saying you love Jesus, but you have a statue of Buddha in your livingroom.  If you're Godly sorry then stop holding on to parts of your sin.  I'm not saying give your car away if he bought you one, but certainly don't keep holding on to things that are a direct link to your sin relationship and could cause you to slip again.  Sitting looking at that photo all day while wearing the nightie he gave you, bad idea sisters.  I'm just saying.  Speak the word over yourself and denounce the attachment and break the stronghold over your life.

Proverbs 28:13 states, He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. You want to find mercy in the eyesight of the Lord.  You want to renounce that attachment and get released from the residue. I John 1:9 says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  The Lord is ever faithful we do not have to walk in guilt from the past, but we need to get delivered from the past.  Just because you came out of the relationship doesn't mean the relationship came out of you.  Now just soak on that for a minute.

The same applies for women who have come out of marriage relationships there is residue that's why you have a love/hate relationship with your ex.  I'm telling you, this is not an easy process.  It is difficult to completely get delivered from people you have had a physical relationship with.  That thing will try to stay attached to you as long as you don't deal with it.  The reason why some women fall into rebound relationships is because they still have residue from their past and are looking for someone to give them parts of what they gave up.  You attached so hard and so quick to the new thing, when really its the old thing that you are attaching to with someone new.

I pray for you sisters to allow God to help you detach in your spirit so that the enemy will not use that as an occasion to cause you to sin and so you will not still be clinging to the past in your spirit and mess up your future.

Know This!

I struggled about what to say to you women of God today because so, so much has been going on.  The enemy has been working over time trying to keep me down.  The word that I would like to share with you today is this and it comes from:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Though trouble is on every hand and it seems like you shall not see the blessings of the Lord, David said in Psalms 27:13 [I had fainted], unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.  In other words if you continue to hold on to what God has promised it is his desire to give you what he has promised.  Whether its ministry, a home, a husband, children, or whatever.  Whatever it is that you are believing God for, you can expect that you will receive every thing that God has appointed for you on this side of life.  I know that we shall be rewarded for our faithfulness and perservance in the day that we shall see the Lord, but the word says in Psalms 37:9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.  God is going to give you everything that you need in this life.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean to your own understanding.  Your understanding will say things didn't work out the way I wanted them to.  Your understanding will say I thought it was going to play out differently.  Your understanding will say, I still have not seen the hand of the Lord in my situation.  But I say again, trust in the lord with all your heart and wait upon the Lord.  Do not let your strength fail you.

Sometimes when women go through labor in child birth, they grow tired after a time.  They may even feel like giving up, but if you've had any children, you know you can't stop in the middle of labor you've got to push until the baby is birthed.  Sometimes it may take longer for it to come into the world.  It may not come on the date the doctor has indicated, but it does come at the appointed time.

Every thing that God has for you, it is for you.  Some people have walked out of your life.  Some God took out of your life.  Some were moved for a season.  It was not meant to harm you or hurt you, but so that God could do some things in you. God has a plan and in his timing everything that he desires to come forth it will be birthed in your life.

Interview With Sister Chiquita Tate

Work It Girl

Psalms 139:14-17
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

I know some of you have probably over the years been to these churches that have times where they site acclamations about their bibles, etc.  If you attend one of those churches, I'm not speaking against it, I'm just using that as a reference.  We make acclamations about many things, but then we walk in our own personal lives with low self-esteem about how we view ourselves.  I want you and us to believe what God says about us and live by what he says about us.

I looked at Psalms 139 which speaks of how David proclaimed that God had done a marvellous thing when he made him.  There is nothing not wonderful in the works of the Lord.  He says "I am fearfully and wonderfully made and marvellous are your works!  Then he continues to say, that he knows it.  I declare you have got to know that you got it going on because you are the workmanship of God.  God does not construct and put together something that is inferior, incapable, unworthy, less than, or any other negative adjectives that you can come up with.  His works are all together lovely, yes they are.

The woe is me thing, dismiss that as a thing of the past.  For the Lord views you with exceeding great thoughts.  David continued, How precious are your thoughts toward me, O God and then he said those particular precious thoughts are many.  We know that God loves us all with great love and there are no favorites in him.  If the Lord's thoughts toward David were such, certainly the same could be said about me and you. 

If you are like me in any way, I know you have probably been in relationships where you got talked down to, criticized even, shamed, ridiculed, and made to feel less than who you really are.  Even if you were never spoken to inappropriately sometimes broken relationships can leave you feeling that way.  I know I've been there left trying to figure out what went wrong because you thought every thing was good, so you're left with it must be or something I did or said.  Even in all that, it is not what people say or don't say about us that is the final word on who we are.  It is what God says about us.  If we will not believe God for what he says about us, then we are at a place where we can't be helped or brought up in our thinking.  We receive his word by faith and must be assured that his word is valid and it is the same word that caused us to receive salvation.  That same faith that it took us to receive a God that we've never seen is what its going to take for us to receive what God says about us and affirm in our spirit that it is true.  If you can receive what you can't see, then you can receive again what you can't feel.  Do you get what I'm saying to you?  You don't see God, but yet you believe and you don't feel wonderful but yet you must believe that as well.  If his word is sure in one area, it certainly is sure in all.

Do not play the victim to those who would contradict what God says about you.  Do not feed into the lies and allow yourself to be manipulated by the works of the enemy who devised a plan to delude your mind into believing you are less than who God says your are.  The bottom line all of that comes from the enemy not the people themselves.  The enemy wants you to believe these things so he uses people to make his points.  but you are the head and not the tail, you are above and never beneath (Deut 28:13).  You are created in his image and after his likeness (Gen 1:27).  What God has made and done is a wonderful thing.  Bless his name!

Now that you know what you're working with, you need to learn to make what you're working with, work for you.  I may not be Iman or Tyra, but I'm who God made me and I will work with what God gave me to work with.  You remember when Whitney Houston said, "I'm every woman", I believe its because you can be the woman that you want to be.  The woman that you want to be is the woman who God created you to be.  If you want to be a "hot mess", you can be that.  Oh, yes you can.  And if you want to be wonderful like God made you, then you can be that too!

So work it girl, with your hair, your nails, and your shoes, your attitude, and your demeanor.  Walk this walk of faith declaring with all certainty that you are the precious queen that God created you to be.  Know that you are the creation of the almighty and represent him well in all things.  Know that it is not vanity to respect the masters handiwork.  You are God's design.  He took pleasure in creating you.  He took time in crafting you.  He specifically made you in his likeness. He was particular in how he constructed every part of you.  There is nothing in you that begs to be improved!  You are God's finest creation.  When the Lord looked at all the work he had done upon creation, he exclaimed it is good!  You are valuable.  Everything about you is excellent.  Celebrate the gift that you are and work it Girl!

Signed Fierce and I know it!

Walk In It!

Galatians 6:9

Let us not be weary in well doing for in due season we shall reep if we faint not.

If you are single and in ministry I know you grow tired of people asking you that age old question, "Who's your covering?"  As if God cannot use any gift in the body that he wishes for whatever purpose he wants to use them.  I had occasion to speak with one of my sisters briefly on one of my recent video blogs when I asked her what was her biggest challenge being a single woman in ministry.  She stated that it seems that women do not get the due respect if they are not married.  I had a flashback moment as I was asked this question just yesterday by a man who clearly thought that women should not function in ministry unless they have a husband.  News flash, I have a husband, I am the bride of Christ.  Although the church ministry has an apostolic covering as well, the Lord covers me also as his handmaiden and bride.  Everyday I go into the secret place and commune with him and let him give me instructions on what is next.  I walk in covenant with him and he speaks to my purpose.  And what's great about him is he never misses it and his instructions are always on point! Believe that.

I ask you women of God, do we walk in disobedience, and act like we don't hear God's instructions, and like we are not a gift to the body of Christ until we get married? Ummm, I think not.  Why would I do that when I can give all of my focus, time, and attention to the Lord right now and have no hinderances or distractions in my way? Do I wait till I do have distractions and when I will be less focused on his assignment.  Clearly, a married woman is supposed to work to please her husband and her time will be split.  But us, God is our focus and we work to please him always.

You will be questioned and pressed because there are many religious people in the body of Christ.  But know this my sisters, your kingdom assignment is sure.  Do not waver or step down from who you are, not now in your singleness nor when you get married.  You are who you are, no matter who you're connected to.  Your purpose doesn't change because of a connection.  He called you and set you apart into your destiny before the foundation of the earth and this is sure.  Hear me in the spirit women of God.  Don't be dismayed or troubled, nor weary in this journey for the enemy will use who he will to speak against the very call on your life and the gift that you are to the kingdom. 

Walk in that gifting, cry aloud and spare not and lift up your voice like a trumpet.  Don't be silenced and don't be backed down for the sake of being in a relationship with someone.  Please do not wait on someone else to validate who you are in the kingdom of God to do what you were purposed to do.  It is the Lord who has called and commissioned you and no one else.  He must get the glory out of your life.  Know this, that God's assignment on your life is your responsibility and if you do not fulfill it, you are accountable for those who you should have birthed into the kingdom.

So beloveds and gifted women of God, stand tall in Jesus, press on with your anointed beautiful selves.  Never waver in the faith, but lean back on God and allow him to reassure you as you obey his voice!

IF IT DON'T FIT, DON'T FORCE IT

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This word is one that is a difficult thing for us to do when we have hoped for days, months, and even years that God would send us our Boaz so that we can walk hand and hand with him in life.  After having hoped and not seen the manifestation in the season we believed God would send him.  But I offer encouragement today as the Lord says if you will not grow weary in your waiting, not faint in your journey, hold fast to the profession of your faith, God is going to do just what he said at the appointed time.

Be careful as you wait and be aware than many shall come and speak things that sound similar to what God has promised you.  These are counterfeits.  When a counterfeit is checking for you and you somehow don't recognize that he is not authentic my best sisterly advice would be, to back up and wait a minute.  Continuing to move forward will entangle your emotions so that you will not be able to think clearly in how you should handle the relationship.  You don't want to end up in a relationship with someone who is not mapped out to be in your life, your purpose, and your destiny.  This will only prolong the things that God has designed for you to walk in and limit your ability to walk into places God has carved out for your purpose. 

There are a few significant things I believe counterfeits will engage in a relationship.  The first, they will want you to change to accommodate their purpose and two they will block yours.  Everything else will run along those lines within the relationship.  With a counterfeit, you will not be good enough for what they have in mind for their lives, so they will work to make you more suitable to their life and purpose.  But when your true man of God surfaces he will not need you to change to fit into his life, because you will be everything that God has told him that you should be.  Don't change yourself to accommodate someone who is supposed to be your match.  If he's your match then you shouldn't have to downgrade your value to make yourself match.  Don't change what is acceptable to you in a reltationship just so you can be in one.  You do not have to reinvent yourself to match with someone, because if its God, it's God.  If you have to downgrade then it's not.  If he thinks he has to change you to make you good enough, it's not God.  You want the one who looks at you and see's a queen made just for him, not someone he believes he can transform into a queen.  He doesn't value you. 

Don't think somehow your love is going to change a man into someone you want him to be.  Many have thought this very thing. Especially the ones who run after someone else's husband thinking that you would be a better fit for him than his present wife.  You can't raise a grown man and you can't make a boy be a man.  Loving him is not going to make him get off drugs and stop drinking.  Loving him is not going to make him want to be saved.  I'm talking to single sisters, not married sister right now.  (Because we all know that a sanctified wife, covers the husband.)  Don't sow your time and love into someone that God only called you to minister to, not to get involved with.  Sometimes we get involved with people God only wanted us to pray for and get delivered.  Instead of leading them, we end of needing them and we should have only been doing what God told us to do and nothing more.  Don't let the anointing on your life make you jump into relationships that are not God ordained.  Because if the relationship does not fit the plan and purpose of God on your life, then it is not the will of God for you to be in it.  God will not send someone who looks almost like what you were looking for, he sends the one who is exactly what you need.  I said exactly.

Secondly, he will block your purpose by putting stumbling blocks by wanting you to come in line with his life but ignoring the thing that God has put in you to birth.  How can two walk together except they are in agreement?(Amos 3:3)  Will you come into agreement with someone who wants to kill your baby? This is not the will nor the purpose of God.  God yokes you together with someone who IS in agreement with who you are and where you're going, not someone who kills the destiny within you.  Changing yourself to fit with someone who is not in agreement with who you are will cause you to abort the thing that God has given you to push into the earth. He should be your spiritual cheerleader and coach, encouraging you to push, not abort.

If the relationship does not fit with the plan of God for your life, then it is not will of God for your life.  If it doesn't fit, don't force it, just let it go and wait.

OWN WHO YOU ARE

James 1:1-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I've been teaching on temptation just recently and one of the things that sticks out to me in this teaching is understanding who you are will produce the kind of results that God is expecting of us.  Let me explain.  When we are tempted, we are tempted by the enemy to do things that are contrary to the word and will of God.  We are not tempted by God, but by the enemy who has studied us and knows what our weak areas are.  After studying us he presents things in our life that he is certain will make us violate the plan of God for our lives.  He may use people who are close to us and always uses things that we desire or feel we need.  With single women it is many things.  Many of us struggle financially, with lonliness, have abandonment issues, have been hurt, etc.  The list could go on infinity.

The point being is that the enemy uses things that are familiar to us to try to draw us away through our own desires.  You've heard the term familarity breeds contempt, that's an expression the word uses.  What is meant by that is when you are familiar with something it can produce things in you that are normally out of character.  Usually this is produced by being comfortable with the thing that you are familiar with.  I said all of that to say this, familiarity puts us in a place where our guard is down and we back up from God's command of watching as well as praying (Matt 26:41).  When you don't watch as well as pray, you will find that things can slip in on you unaware like temptations that can lead you down a path of destruction.

What James has said here in this particular passage of scripture is that we know that we are going to be faced with things.  We know where the things are going to be coming from.  We should count it a priviledge for the opportunity to show the enemy that he can't push me out of my place in God.  We know that God does not present things to us that contradict his word.  With knowing all of this, why is it a struggle to know and do what the will of God is? When temptations come to us they are not to expose what we are not, but what we are.  So being a child of God, it should be pretty easy to say no to things that pull against the anointing on your lives.

The temptations come so that we can grow and mature in God and understand who we are.  One thing that I need to make clear is: We are not on the same level as the temptor, therefore, we have to come down to his level and submit to the decrease in order for the enemy to even get an advantage.  The enemy can't come up on our level, because God has placed Christ far above all principalities and powers and put all things under his feet and made him to be the head over all things to the church which is his body (Eph 1:20-23). If we are his body, the principalities and powers are under our feet as well.  Where are we: "far above the enemy".  Where is the enemy: "far below us".  He sends temptations, but for us to accept we have to step down from our position of authority and submit to the subordinate authority of the enemy. That's why the word says to watch as well as pray so that we do not "fall into temptation" (Matt 26:41).

The next time some things fly your way that you know contradicts the will of God, you've got to remember that's beneath me and I don't have to submit to things that are under my feet.  There's a reason why its under there and let it remain in its place.  Whoever has a problem with you being the wonderful woman of God you are and cannot respect the God in you and wants you to come down from your priestly place, just let them know this: When the enemy offered Jesus the world he failed to remember that the earth is the Lord's and fullness thereof and all they that dwell therein (Ps 24:1).  How can you offer something to someone who already owns it? Jesus owned who he was!

Own who you are and don't submit to anything less than what God has entitled you to.

Interview with Minister/Psalmist Kirisma Evans

Relax, Release & Rejoice

When I was in highschool I wrote a poem called "never again am I the fool".  Words of which I had no experience, mind you, but many girls who read it could identify with the words.  It chronicled being ridiculed and hurt and not standing up for yourself.  Basically, it was letting the other person off by not making them take responsibility for hurting you, while you sit back and suffer in silence.  They've had all of their say, but you felt too hurt to speak up for yourself.  I'm not sure at the time where all of that came from (high school poem), not having any experience to draw from, but I've always enjoyed expressing myself through writing.

Often we become marthyrs in relationships, especially women of God.  A marthyr is a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle.  Let me explain what I mean.  We give the power to the person who is hurting us to control the outcome of the end of the relationship.  We allow them to strip us of our right to be emotionally released from the relationship because we do not get the opportunity to say the things that we need to say to get a release.  This is why we do it, we feel we have to miss our opportunity to express and release on the person who hurt us because we are women of God.  We are giving them our permission and blessing in essence to have their way by not "effectively" communicating our feelings. I did say effectively communicating, because you can communicate ineffectively by screaming and shouting and not being very clear about what it is you want to say.  Often, we do not release because we don't believe that it is within our right to express to the other person how what they did to us made us feel.  We think it's our obligation to suffer as a christian.  But the bible says, if we sufer with HIM (Christ), we shall reign with him (2 Tim 2:12).  The person who is hurting you is not doing it so God can get the glory and this is not for the cause of Christ.  So, we end up suffering in silence longer and to a greater degree because we let them take our release opportunity away.

I'm not saying we need to behave inappropiately or put sugar in their gas tank, I'm simply saying that communicating what is in you will release the weight of what has happened to you.  You will have fewer coulda, shoulda moments afterwards when you carefully think out what you need to say and say it so that thing won't stay with you and torment you.  I know somebody knows what I'm talking about today!  We have walked around what we really wanted to say because we were still ,even after being hurt, holding on to the hope of reconciling.  In the majority of cases, that's not going to happen.  Likely, he has already moved on and has someone else in his life when he finally told you or has been thinking about having someone else is his life.  Instead of dealing with it for what it is, we don't allow ourselves to get the necessary release so we can move on.  We stay in a emotional stall with someone who has moved on with their life. 

Single sisters, we can be so vulnerable because of lonliness that we take more than we should and demand less than what we need.  We are willing to take less because we feel its more than what we have now.  But its not okay to give someone all and leave nothing for yourself.  The wake up call is this, if your feelings were so important to him, he would have given you an opportunity to have your say.  But he was selfish in that his feelings were of greater importance.  Did he break up by text message, even a phone call?  Both are coward moves.  He's afraid to face you.  I'm just going to really keep it real today.  It is a coward who cannot face a woman with whom he has had a relationship.  Make him man up! I'm doing a little bit of man bashing today, just so you can get the significance of how important it is for you to communicate your feelings so you can let go.  If you've allowed the moment to slip by, then let one of your sisters be a sounding board.  But if there is a next time around, you make sure you chime in on how this has made you feel.  "I didn't get to say this" is what many of us will eventually come to.  A missed opportunity.

Considering all that I have said, why did you let him off the hook?  He didn't deserve it, but you deserved to get free so you could move on.  Perhaps you don't speak out of fear, perhaps out of insecurity or brokenness from the past, but relinquishing the power to hurt you and not let you speak up when you need to is and should be a definite no can do for you in the future.  People only do to us what we allow.  There are things that happen because God allows it, then there are the things that happen because we allow it.  Perhaps the relationship was not ordained by God and you feel some level of guilt over the whole thing, but does not mean that he gets a free pass on trampling over your feelings.  I think not! 

You are not Joan of Arc, we are not robots, indeed we are women of God, but you can still speak the truth in love.  The focus being that we are actively communicating.  Do not allow the enemy to trap you into believing that you have to be a doormat for someone else's insecurity and shortcomings.  You certainly are a valuable asset to the kingdom, to the Lord, and many friends, family and loved ones.  You are valuable, so don't do it.  After you said what you need to say then relax, release, and rejoice because now it's time to move on.

LET GO AND LET GOD

And the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:7)

You might ask why can I not find peace or why do I not have peace.  I will say this, when you do not have closure, you will not have peace.  The peace of God is meant to guard your heart and mind.  It is meant to be a buffer from anything that could disrupt that connection to the Lord that we value so much.  When you cannot find the peace in your mind and heart, you are not able to rest in the Lord.  If you are not able to rest in him, then you become less capable of carrying out your kingdom responsibilities and being the asset that God desires you to be.  You are crippled because your heart's focus is not centered around the assignment that God has laid out before you. 

The word says in Mark 4: 37-39 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

When your peace is disrupted you've got to know what name to call on when trouble comes.  You've got to know that in the name of the Lord every assignment against your mind can and will be cancelled at the declaration of that matchless name.  Yes, the Lord does care and is concerned about the trouble that comes into your life.  Yes, he is concerned about your heart.  No, he does not want you to perish in the storm, but he wants you to find peace in the storm.  That is why Jesus spoke to the storm and decreed peace to overtake the borders of the boat and it released not only the raging seas, but also the water that had infiltrated the deck.  This is how the peace of God operates.  It moves in and releases everything that causes us conflict and confusion and every weight pours out of us and off of us along with the discord that was causing our mind and heart to be disrupted.  There is quietness that comes with the peace of God that nothing else can compare to.  At midnight where you use to be restless because the boat was tossing, when God restores peace, restlessness leaves you and perfect peace moves in.  That's why the water had to leave the boat, because when Jesus commanded that peace be restored anything that conflicted with his commandment had to detached itself from situation.

I've watched this peace pass over me as I closed doors that still remained open from my past.  You've got to take a really good look at where you are emotionally to determine if you are still holding a key to your past that you need to relinquish to the Lord.  It will take that very thing for all of us to find the peace of God and have that calm come over our lives that God wants us to rest in.  Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matt 11:28)".  That's really all he wants.  We cannot handle these things alone.  He doesn't expect that we should.  What he is waiting for is for you to know that this peace can only be found in him and to allow him to give it to you.  Let Go and let God!

YOU MAKE THE CALL

How do you decide when it's the right time to move on with your life after a break up.  Believe me, you get a whole lot of advice ranging from go out on dates it will help you get over it, to fast and pray your way till you know, and finally you will just know. But how do you just know?  How do you fall out of love with someone when you know there's no future for whatever reasons.  It doesn't matter if it ended on a good note or a bad note, you still have to deal with the emotions left from the relationship.

It's tough and there are no easy answers.  Unfortunately, what might be right for me or someone else might not be the right solution for you.  Some people throw themselves into work or ministry, something to occupy their time, but really at the end of the day it does not help you deal with the emotion that is left and at some point it will have to be dealt with.  What you do not want to do is still be left with emotional baggage somewhere down the road when 6'4" Boaz appears and you suddenly realize you still have unresolved feelings from your past. 

I don't have a scriptural reference today, just some real talk for you.  I looked at my own heart and own situation so that I can help someone else deal with the wounds that are still badly in need of care today.  Many people will tell you many things.  They will even give you a word and tell you God said this and God said that.  Whether those prophetic words are valid for your situation is clearly something you will have to search your spirit to confirm, but do not rely on what someone else told you to confirm only what your spirit can confirm through the Holyspirit.  In other words, don't let someone else tell you God said it's time for you to find love again, or for you to move on now.  You have to be the one to make that call. Don't allow people to push you into places you are not ready to go into.

If the Lord hasn't delivered you from one place, he will not move you into another.  That's out of order.  I had to learn this the hard way.  Get unresolved emotions and baggage resolved from the former before you move into something new.  Whether it takes you a month, six months, a year or however long it takes you to work through it, you make the call.  There are no hard or fast rules, no set time of mourning.  There is no set process that determines what is appropriate and what isn't.  If you're not ready, then you're not.  When you are, then you are.  If you don't want to, then you don't, if you do, then you do.

So basically, what I'm saying to you today is the only person who can determine what is on the inside of you, is you.  You know what's in your heart.  You know what you are feeling.  You know if you still have something there that needs to be worked through.  Don't hide from your pain.  Don't suppress it.  Don't bring someone else into your life to masked it.  Search yourself and ask God to help you work all of that out of you ahead of time.  Then one day you will sense in your spirit, now I'm ready, you will truly be prepared from the inside out.

WATCH YOUR MOUTH

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you (I Thessalonians 4:11)

I know you thought I was getting ready to say something else, but this needs and will be said today.  There is nothing wrong with a meek and quiet spirit.  You can be bubbly and full of personality, but yet still have a meek and quiet spirit because with that attribute comes wisdom. In other words, knowing when its appropriate to be all that you are and knowing when its appropriate to tone it down.

The word of God tells us in James 3: 5-8 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

The tongue is just a small part of our makeup, but it can cause all kinds of drama, confusion, and mess in our lives when we don't learn to shut our mouths.  Yes, I said shut it.  Your tongue can set it off in 0.3 seconds and before you can bat an eyelash all eyes will be on you because of something crazy you just said.  Because wisdom says when you cannot handle something, then learn to shut down the thing you can't handle.  Out of our mouths come good and bad things, but when we don't put a zipper on our lips at the appropriate time we can ruin a good thing.  My mother use to say every thing that comes up does not need to come out.  In other words, just because you think it in your head, doesn't mean it needs to be said.  We have to learn as women of God that the attribute of a meek and quiet spirit is not an attempt to shut us down, but its pleasantry that is appreciated by most mature men. 

A immature man wants a messy woman thats full of foolishness and folly.  But a man who is full grown wants a woman who knows how to handle herself and walks in wisdom not only in her ministry but in her personal life.  If you spend all of your time gossipping, wanting to argue, keeping up foolishness, who do you think wants to deal with that kind of drama?  You want to be married to the Bishop, but you don't have the character to draw the doorkeeper.  Come on, let's be real here.  I'm going to lay it out to you straight.  Because our mouths can and will get us in more trouble than any other attribute or personality flaw.  Because to be sure people will assume the things that come out of you are coming from the heart.  In fact the words says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).  Repeating things other people have said, being a busy-body, having filthy communication coming out of your mouth are all turn offs. Are you really speaking your heart when you say those things?

If you don't want a good man to move on and you want to be the kind of woman that attracts the kind of man you see in your spirit, then heed to the voice of the Lord.  Watch your mouth!

Interview with Evangelist Wanda Bell

Opportunity Awaits

I was speaking to one of my sister ministers a week ago who said something I believe is very essential to single women of God and since I have heard the same from two other women of God.  She said singleness is your opportunity.....there was more on the end of that statement, but I want to work with that fragment.  I think some of us forget what it means to have that time to ourselves first of all and enjoy every moment of taking care of ourselves and doing things that we enjoy.

There are many benefits to having this time and embracing this time that you have while you are by yourself.  First remember being by yourself does not make you alone, because the Lord said "lo I am with you always even until the end of the world (Matthew 28:20)".  So he is our constant companion and confidante.  Paul said, "I've learned that in whatever state I'm in to be content (Phillippians 4:11).  Well, what does that really mean.  It means that wherever you are whether up or down, whether you have much or little, whether you have what you want or don't have what you think you should have, God is with you and he will always be with you.  You should learn to rest in the place that you're in and not be so dissatisfied that you don't have what you believe you should.  Whatever it is you have is still a place of blessing because you have the Lord right there with you in it! There is comfort in knowing that you can rely on him no matter the condition of your situation.  If it changes, if it remains constant, if it declines, if it exculates, whatever your situation does, God is there to comfort, keep, lead, guide, instruct, assist, and love you through it.  There's no need to get frazzled about the state of your life. I preached a message about the condition of your mind.  One of the most significant parts of that message is simple that if we learn to keep our minds ON HIM he will keep us in perfect peace.  Did you hear me?  When you're mind is on him you can live in a state of satisfaction and be content just like Paul.

Let's talk some more about opportunity and what it means to be in the place that you're in right now.  You have a opportunity to take advantage of having all of your time to dedicate to the service of the Lord.  A married woman's interest are divided because she has to tend to the needs of her husband.  But the word says in I Corinthians 7:34 "The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit".  So, why do so many single women run around trying to find a man instead of making God their focus? You are supposed to be caring for the things of the Lord and working to keep yourself clean before him and your life dedicated to him.  What's up?  Did you catch the last part of that scripture, "that she may be holy both in body and spirit".  Don't get me started on talking about that stuff you all been keeping in that night stand drawer by your bed that you think don't nobody know about.  A single woman is dedicated to keeping herself HOLY before in the Lord.  So, all that stuff you been doing with those toys is not a sweet smelling savor before the Lord.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting a man, but when you should have your focus turned to God, it's else where. Does your every thought and effort have to be centered around trying to grab someone's attention? The Lord knows what you want and desire and if you delight yourself IN HIM, he will give you the desires of your heart.  Don't make goo goo eyes across the church at somebody when you should be delighting yourself IN HIM.

This truly is your opportunity to show your full committment of time to the Lord.  You will not be free to do this once you are married because your time will be divided.  This is your opportunity to love on God as never before and make every moment with him count.  If I could go back and get some of the time I wasted and give it to God, I would.  There was a song some years ago that simply said, "Don't let this moment pass you by, Jesus is waiting with his arms opened wide".  He's waiting for us to turn our eyes on him and put our focus on him.  He's waiting for you to take advantage of your opportunity with him.  There is much to be done in the kingdom and while you have an opportunity, why don't you make full proof of your ministry.  Why don't care for the sick and afflicted, why don't you minister to the young women, why don't travail in the spirit for those who have no hope? 

Your opportunity awaits.  Grab hold to it.  Handmaidens, prayer warriors, ministers, evangelists, pastors, prophetess, apostles, and teachers grab hold to it.  Hold on to the horns of the altar great women of God and allow God to be the center of your joy!

Is it the End?

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)

As you end relationships and move forward with life, you find that your heart has suffered some damage.  There are some places in your heart that have become hardened and scabbed over from being wounded and inflamed. This is the time that God will begin to make some changes in you as you transition from one place in your life to the next.

Your spirit has been crushed from the broken relationship as well and needs to be repaired and restored into a healthy place.  You may even ask at this time, "Lord is this the end for me?  And will I ever love again or even will anyone ever love me again?  I assure you that it is not the end, but a beginning in that God can now prepare your spirit and heart to go further than you had gone before and higher than you imagined. It's not the time to jump into another relationship though tempting that may be to help distract you from the pain you need to deal with.  But come to terms with what has ended, allow God to minister to those areas of brokenness, and release the past so that you will not take its residue into the future.  Have a hush moment.  That means quiet everything in your life for a minute to let God be the only one talking.

There is no need to be discouraged by what has happened outwardly, because God is doing something on the inside of you, renewing you, and restoring you (2 Cor 4:16). You were limited to where he could take you before because the many distractions in your life which prevented you from walking in places God wanted to push you.  But now, the release from the past has given you a highway to the future.  Now that the mountains have been removed and come down, it’s time to step into the course God had ordained from the beginning.  Lift up your head! God is your shield and glory and the lifter of your head (Ps 3:3). So I say be encouraged sisters. 

The scabs will fall off; the inflammation will succumb to a normal state.  You will begin to see the bright places that God had planned from the beginning for you to come in to.  You will no longer walk in complacency or doubt about who you are or where you are going or even where you fit in.  God is dawning a new day (Luke 1:78).  He will in this next hour reveal himself as never before and give you clarity for what is to come.

It is not the end ladies, it is the beginning.

IS IT ME LORD?

At some point you have to ask yourself after so many pitstops and failed relationships, is it me Lord?  It certainly cannot be everyone else with the issues and I have none.  What did I contribute to the collapse of the relationship and what can I do to ensure that I won't backslide into that same behavior?

What are the characteristics and qualities that are needed to be successful in the life of a believer and do I exhibit them?  In Ps 31:10 it states "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies."  That is a question because clearly it is a rare commodity to find a woman with standards that are implacable and above reproach, but yet I hear so many claiming to be just that, but their character is lacking in so many ways.  To be a woman of noble character means having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor.  When you cannot be trusted, are selfish, and weak, and lack the ability to live Godly, clearly this is an area of weakness.  That's just one characteristic of a quality woman and christian.

I would like to use one of my favorite women in the bible and that is Esther to reflect on for further consideration.  She was a woman of moral standard, faith, and character.  She did not behave in an inappropriate manner to get the attention of the king.  She was upstanding.  She didn't wear low-cut blouses, short skirts, tight jeans, and no slip to get his attention.  When you have favor and follow wise counsel God will put you before great men.  She did what she was instructed to do and won favor by her obedience and character. Wisdom told her when to keep quiet and when to speak up.  She kept some things until the appropriate time to speak them.  It's a silly woman who will give her advantage away or take her advantage away by not knowing when to be silent.  You might say, "how is he going to notice me?" If its not God, trust me you don't want the kind of attention that flaunting yourself will bring.  It will not be what you are after.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be fabulous because the Lord knows I love all things fabulous.  But some things should be left to the imagination.  Didn't I just say don't give your advantage away?  Let's talk about another critical issue.  What? No ye not that your body is the temple of the holyghost which is in you (I Cor 6:19) So, your body is where the spirit of God resides and when you do not respect it, then you disrespect God's dwelling place.  When you started out, you were so into looking fabulous, but somewhere along the way that all went out the window.  Fabulousness turned into I have a man now, I don't need to do.......  You can fill in the blank.  But you can be assured that it was more than your character that drew him to you.  Love will make him stay longer, but sooner or later he will be concerned whether you care more about yourself than him because you knew what he liked from the start.  Why would you assume that it is no longer important after he has made the committment to you?  I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend, I did say 10 pounds yesterday, I didn't say 50, so let's keep it in perspective shall we.  Don't turn into a total and complete different woman when the Lord sends your Boaz! Remember initially Esther got the attention of the king because she was beautiful.

You ask, God what did I do? What about the characteristics of love because its more than just a flesh thing.  I won't go into that, but I will point you to the scripture to read (I Cor 13). Your temper, your attitude, your demeanor, the evil eye all of these do not point to Godly character or acts of love.  Backslidding into characteristics of the flesh will get you single again quicker than hot weather in July.  You still have to be a woman of God whether you are in a relationship or not.  That is the point I'm trying to make.  One thing that women forget is that we are supposed to treat the men and women of God well and especially those of the household of faith (Gal 6:10).  Did we forget this is a man of God?  Just because he's your boo, doesn't mean you get a pass on not following the scripture.  Don't be evil to him and nice to everyone else.  You turn on the charm when the pastor comes around and turn it off when he leaves because you want your man to know that you are not feeling him right now.  As we say in Texas, "that's a hot mess!"

I'm going to leave you all alone because I could go on forever and into so many more areas of concern for us.  The "is it me Lord" should be a question that we should ask ourselves and strive to find ways to improve not try to conform someone to accept our character flaws.  Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who is going to flip on them.  It may be you in some areas.  Use this time as opportunity to explore those places.  Learn some consistency in your walk as a woman of God.  Remember who you are no matter who you deal with.  It is more important to be a woman of noble character in your house and around your people because that is where the real battle and tests are.  That is where the real you will manifest.  That is where you make full proof of who you are as a woman of God.

Somebody Loves You!

I have heard many times people say that while he was on the cross he had me on his mind.  Though that is not an actual biblical quote, we can ascertain that there is much truth to the statement that his purpose for being on the cross was to exonerate us from that which we had done or could ever do in the future.  There is something magnificent about the the fact that the Lord thought enough about the likes of me, that I would and could be important enough that he would device a plan to recover my soul back from the hands of the enemy.

I am so loved by him and you are so loved, so loved.  In fact, for God so loved the world (that's us) that he gave his only begotten son (John 3:16).  Who loves us more than this.  I cannot think of anyone who would lay his life down for us with no regard to what would be done to him or against him.  Who would suffer any affliction for the sake of our very soul.  That's love.  Until someone can love you like Jesus does, then second guess every action, word, or motive.  The bible says, "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it (Ephesians 5:25).  Look very closely at that particular scripture and judge your relationships by it.  Because Christ loved the church so deeply that he is yet making intercession for us even after giving his life.  In addition, with all of the foolishness we do, he still loves us.   Now, think about that my sisters.  Because if a brother is ready to roll on you because you gained 10 pounds or your kid is giving him grief, or even because you want a big wedding and he wants a little one, there is a love problem.  It's time to reaccess and look at it from a broader perspective.

The Lord's thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end" (Jeremiah 29:11). He celebrates you in every way.  His thoughts toward you are all good.  He loves your curves, your lips, your hair (bad days and all) he loves you for you in other words.  He doesn't care if you're perfect, in fact, he knows you're not and he still loves you.  He doesn't hold it against you if the scale moves, he doesn't take points away if you say something he doesn't like, he doesn't shut up heaven because you don't call him for a day or two.  His thoughts don't change toward you, nor his plans because you miss it or do or say something he doesn't like.

God loves you with an everlasting love.  His love runs deep.  It's not on the surface love.  Erric Fromm wrote, "Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love".  This can be seen so clearly in Christ's love toward us.  He gave his life not knowing whether we would say yes to his sacrificial love act, but yet it didn't matter enough that he would say no I won't do it.  His love was so great that regardless to our acceptance he was still willing to give himself completely to the act of love.  There are many who have said no and he knew they would before he gave his life, but yet without regard to those who would walk away from the gift, he was still willing to give it!  Can we say, that's the real thing? For certain.

When you have found the person who can or is willing to replicate this act of love in word and deed, then truly you have found the one that God has ordained to walk with you hand in hand and stride for stride.

Don't Be Bitter

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (Ephesians 4:31)

I was reading an article which discussed the things one might go through when a relationship comes to an end.  In laymen’s terms when you get dumped and you are the recipient and not the dumpee, it is often unexpected to you, though your partner may have been thinking about it for some time.  You are totally taken by surprised at the dismissal of your feelings and hopes in the relationship and how abruptly it seemed to come to an end.  What really bugs you is that they are so emotionally detached when they kick you to the curb.  It’s because they were already thinking about it and had the whole dump process well thought out.

For me, having been married most of my adult life, I haven’t experienced this much, but I can tell you the pain of when I did go through it is much like that of when you lose someone who has died.  You go through the same emotions and physical pain sometimes, and often you may even feel physically ill.  It is not a pleasant experience.  I personally cried for weeks, then I became angry and beyond anger there is bitterness.

What do you do when you are faced with this kind of situation and how do you go on after having hoped and made plans to spend your life with someone and then to find that this person who you have invested your time, love, and emotion in has cast you aside with no regard to your feelings.  The rejection can drive you to one of two places, to your knees or to your old man.  You have to decide which one is going to be in charge.  You have a choice.

Well, I would venture to say that it is quite easy to be angry and even bitter, and some times want revenge.  But as Godly women we cannot go to such extremes, though it might make our flesh feel better, God would certainly not be pleased at our blatant disregard to violating his standards, commands, and investment he has put into us.  You see, just like an employee who has spent time, money, and countless hours of training to make you the best employee to do the job they hired you to do, God chose you and called you for a purpose before the foundation of the world to do something for him (Eph 1:4).  If we waste all of our time and energy on thinking about how someone else hurt us and how we can get them back, we lose precious time that the Lord could be pouring into us. We disregard the investment God has made into us preparing us to be vessels fit and meet for the master's use (2 Tim 2:21).

Do we want to do that?  Seriously….  The very person that we are spending all of our time thinking about and hoping for and even praying for is not even thinking about you.  Don’t waste your precious anointed self sitting around plotting and scheming, just find your way back to your knees and love on Jesus until that thing leaves your spirit.

Interview with Evangelist Cassandra Bering

Oh Me, Oh My Moments

How did it come to this and how did I get here?  Don't you turn your head like you don't know what I'm talking about.  We have this incredible knack to put ourselves in a situation then try to blame God for not rescuing us and sending angels to speak a word so we will do the right thing which we already knew to do!

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

First of all there are not situations created that are unfamiliar to any of us.  There is nothing new under sun that has not been addressed, gone through, or other people have not had to face and were able to do so with success.  Had it not been possible God certainly would not have allowed it in their lives because he wants us to be successful in him.  He doesn't want us to fail! Therefore, the thing that you are going through its already done and already been defeated and put under the blood.  God would not allow a situation to overtake you that you are incapable of being successful at and that he has given a word that causes you to triumph in it.  He already has given you the tools to be successful and pass the test prior to the examination being passed out.  Did you hear me? 

So when things come your way like finding yourself pressed up against a wall in a heated moment and you feel like you can't say no, yes you can.  It's already within you to be more than conqueror.  Had you listened to God when he told you NO from the beginning you wouldn't be pressed up against a wall.  Why, because God did give you an out before you came to that place, but you decided that you would take a pass because you thought you were smarter than God.  Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt somebody's feelings.  But really when we decide that we know better, we are saying, "God, I've got this handled because I'm wiser on how to deal with my situation".  I hope that was light bulb moment for you.

I'm raising my hand because, let's be real, I've been down that road countless times in my life and much of the time I didn't take the detour and had to almost fight to get out because sin was knocking loudly at the door and I wanted to answer. I'm smart enough now to know my struggles, but sometimes some of us want to act "brand new" and pretend to be superwoman. 

The struggle is in your mind, because your spirit man wants to do the right thing.  You have to learn to cast down every imagination and high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God and bring captive EVERY thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:5).  You cannot entertain things that you know will lead you down that road.  Turn Barry White off, turn off Luther, and forget about Marvin Gaye, you know anything that's going to pull your mind into a place where it begins to break down so you will end up in situations that can tear you down.  You cannot put yourself in situations where you will have to fight to do the right thing.  Why would you want to do that to yourself? There is nothing wrong with saying no, he can't come in your house and don't go in his.  There's nothing wrong with saying I'm not going to happy hour because I struggle with that.  There is nothing wrong with crossing the street when you see the drug man because you are struggling with that issue.  See, we play with the enemy and end up having to be restored after the devil makes a fool of us. 

If you didn't want to go there in the first place it would not have been a struggle for you.  Let's be real open, if it was not a temptation for you from the beginning, then it would not have turned into a struggle in the end.  Why because a man is only tempted by his own desire (James 1:14).  You cannot be tempted by something that does not entice you or is not an area of struggle.  If drugs are not your issue, then why would the enemy bring drugs to you?  He will bring things that you struggle with because its his desire to pull you out of the will of God.  So, if you recognize that a thing is an area of struggle for you and that should be pretty easy to do, then make wiser decisions when dealing with something you know can cause you problems.  I know I'm talking to somebody today.

You won't have so many oh me, oh my moments when you learn not to set yourself up for a fall.  Literally that's what we do.  We set up ourselves up to mess up.  Learn what you struggle with and devise a plan to keep your feet from stumbling.  Every time a thought enters your head that makes you want to back up and lose traction, you know its time to start pulling those things down by speaking the word over them.  You have come too far my sisters to put the car in reverse.  Let's press toward the mark of the prize of the high calling in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:14).

A DEAD MATTER

This is not for the faint at heart, nor is it for those whose circumstances may be different such as God has given specific instructions concerning your situation and you are instructed to WAIT.  Then wait till God works it out.  But all others hear the word of the Lord today!

I think perhaps this is a place that some of us have struggled for some time in and it can be a place of hurt if continued in.  You've got to know when its over and when to move on.  I know we want to quote scriptures and tell God, "you said if I delight myself in you, you would give me desires of my heart; Believe God and hold on to hope "now faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen"; Fast and pray "some things only come by fasting and praying, put blessed oil on his pillow and all of that.  If it wasn't such a desperate place, I would scream right now in laughter and tears, because it is truly a sad place to be in, but it is a reality that so many women find themselves in that very place.  I too have been in that place and I will be real, it does hurt.

So, he doesn't want to talk to you, see you, text you, email you, see your picture, or even know about your general health.  Sisters, if the power company disconnected from you in all the ways he has, you would have to put new lines in your house just to get a flicker.  How much more evidence do you need that he's done girl?  He has moved on and you are NOT in the equation.  Elvis has left the building and you are standing in it alone. Do you get the general idea?

If your sister can't be real with you then who can?  For whatever reason you are the only one in love, you are the only one still holding on and he has no interest or desire to be in a relationship with you or in your life for that matter.  Lowering yourself by running after him will not get you the desired result you are after, so don't do it.  You will compromise your standard, self-worth, and integrity and for what?  You are too wonderful for that.  At some point, you have to realize that it is not to your benefit to keep holding on to someone who does not share the same feelings.  How do you come to this?  Well, let's look at the word of God.  A very familar passage of scripture that explains to us what love is.

I Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

When looking at the word of God and comparing it to how you have been treated, does the treatment line up with what God says about love?  Weigh it out my sisters.  Does his behavior or actions dictate love in any way toward you?  Do you feel loved right now?  Let me be clear any man who loves you will honor God first and obey him and in that he will treat you with dignity and respect in how he handles you, that's love.  This lines up with God's word and although your feelings may get hurt.  Because a true man of God is willing to give up everything to follow God, including you.  You can't be mad at that.  But if you've been mishandled, rest assured God will deal with whoever did it.  If he's not a real man of God, do you really want him anyway? 

Now, I know you're in love, I know it's difficult, I know you've spent countless nights crying your eyes out and praying that God would change the circumstances.  You are more valuable than this and you certainly deserve more than you're getting.  You have to find a way to get over it.  You have to find a way to move on.  Falling out of love is so much more difficult than falling in love.  The heart is a very delicate thing.  It seems that men have an easier time than women.  I don't know if that's exactly true, but they certainly find a way to move on a lot quicker. 

Don't despair because just like a fisherman throws his line into a lake to find his dinner, you can cast the line of your heart, worries, and hurt upon the Lord for he is concerned for you.  He will mend your brokenness and make the crooked places straight again.  I know emotion in some sects is said to be of the enemy, but the reality is we do have feelings and emotions.  Jesus wept.  For whatever reason scholars say he wept, the reality is that he did, showing true emotion within our savior.  Whether it was because of unbelief or whatever reason, he was driven to tears because of a matter.  His heart was affected.  God does not want us to be LEAD by our feelings, but he knows we have them otherwise he would not have told us to cast them upon him.  Pretending that you do not have feelings is ridiculous and a trick of the enemy to keep you in a unresolved condition where you cannot receive deliverance.

One last thing I say to you is know that it is a dead matter and where love was, it is no longer there.  You must ask the Lord to help you resolve your feelings so that you can move on.