A DEAD MATTER

This is not for the faint at heart, nor is it for those whose circumstances may be different such as God has given specific instructions concerning your situation and you are instructed to WAIT.  Then wait till God works it out.  But all others hear the word of the Lord today!

I think perhaps this is a place that some of us have struggled for some time in and it can be a place of hurt if continued in.  You've got to know when its over and when to move on.  I know we want to quote scriptures and tell God, "you said if I delight myself in you, you would give me desires of my heart; Believe God and hold on to hope "now faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen"; Fast and pray "some things only come by fasting and praying, put blessed oil on his pillow and all of that.  If it wasn't such a desperate place, I would scream right now in laughter and tears, because it is truly a sad place to be in, but it is a reality that so many women find themselves in that very place.  I too have been in that place and I will be real, it does hurt.

So, he doesn't want to talk to you, see you, text you, email you, see your picture, or even know about your general health.  Sisters, if the power company disconnected from you in all the ways he has, you would have to put new lines in your house just to get a flicker.  How much more evidence do you need that he's done girl?  He has moved on and you are NOT in the equation.  Elvis has left the building and you are standing in it alone. Do you get the general idea?

If your sister can't be real with you then who can?  For whatever reason you are the only one in love, you are the only one still holding on and he has no interest or desire to be in a relationship with you or in your life for that matter.  Lowering yourself by running after him will not get you the desired result you are after, so don't do it.  You will compromise your standard, self-worth, and integrity and for what?  You are too wonderful for that.  At some point, you have to realize that it is not to your benefit to keep holding on to someone who does not share the same feelings.  How do you come to this?  Well, let's look at the word of God.  A very familar passage of scripture that explains to us what love is.

I Cor 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

When looking at the word of God and comparing it to how you have been treated, does the treatment line up with what God says about love?  Weigh it out my sisters.  Does his behavior or actions dictate love in any way toward you?  Do you feel loved right now?  Let me be clear any man who loves you will honor God first and obey him and in that he will treat you with dignity and respect in how he handles you, that's love.  This lines up with God's word and although your feelings may get hurt.  Because a true man of God is willing to give up everything to follow God, including you.  You can't be mad at that.  But if you've been mishandled, rest assured God will deal with whoever did it.  If he's not a real man of God, do you really want him anyway? 

Now, I know you're in love, I know it's difficult, I know you've spent countless nights crying your eyes out and praying that God would change the circumstances.  You are more valuable than this and you certainly deserve more than you're getting.  You have to find a way to get over it.  You have to find a way to move on.  Falling out of love is so much more difficult than falling in love.  The heart is a very delicate thing.  It seems that men have an easier time than women.  I don't know if that's exactly true, but they certainly find a way to move on a lot quicker. 

Don't despair because just like a fisherman throws his line into a lake to find his dinner, you can cast the line of your heart, worries, and hurt upon the Lord for he is concerned for you.  He will mend your brokenness and make the crooked places straight again.  I know emotion in some sects is said to be of the enemy, but the reality is we do have feelings and emotions.  Jesus wept.  For whatever reason scholars say he wept, the reality is that he did, showing true emotion within our savior.  Whether it was because of unbelief or whatever reason, he was driven to tears because of a matter.  His heart was affected.  God does not want us to be LEAD by our feelings, but he knows we have them otherwise he would not have told us to cast them upon him.  Pretending that you do not have feelings is ridiculous and a trick of the enemy to keep you in a unresolved condition where you cannot receive deliverance.

One last thing I say to you is know that it is a dead matter and where love was, it is no longer there.  You must ask the Lord to help you resolve your feelings so that you can move on.