What are the characteristics and qualities that are needed to be successful in the life of a believer and do I exhibit them? In Ps 31:10 it states "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies." That is a question because clearly it is a rare commodity to find a woman with standards that are implacable and above reproach, but yet I hear so many claiming to be just that, but their character is lacking in so many ways. To be a woman of noble character means having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor. When you cannot be trusted, are selfish, and weak, and lack the ability to live Godly, clearly this is an area of weakness. That's just one characteristic of a quality woman and christian.
I would like to use one of my favorite women in the bible and that is Esther to reflect on for further consideration. She was a woman of moral standard, faith, and character. She did not behave in an inappropriate manner to get the attention of the king. She was upstanding. She didn't wear low-cut blouses, short skirts, tight jeans, and no slip to get his attention. When you have favor and follow wise counsel God will put you before great men. She did what she was instructed to do and won favor by her obedience and character. Wisdom told her when to keep quiet and when to speak up. She kept some things until the appropriate time to speak them. It's a silly woman who will give her advantage away or take her advantage away by not knowing when to be silent. You might say, "how is he going to notice me?" If its not God, trust me you don't want the kind of attention that flaunting yourself will bring. It will not be what you are after.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be fabulous because the Lord knows I love all things fabulous. But some things should be left to the imagination. Didn't I just say don't give your advantage away? Let's talk about another critical issue. What? No ye not that your body is the temple of the holyghost which is in you (I Cor 6:19) So, your body is where the spirit of God resides and when you do not respect it, then you disrespect God's dwelling place. When you started out, you were so into looking fabulous, but somewhere along the way that all went out the window. Fabulousness turned into I have a man now, I don't need to do....... You can fill in the blank. But you can be assured that it was more than your character that drew him to you. Love will make him stay longer, but sooner or later he will be concerned whether you care more about yourself than him because you knew what he liked from the start. Why would you assume that it is no longer important after he has made the committment to you? I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend, I did say 10 pounds yesterday, I didn't say 50, so let's keep it in perspective shall we. Don't turn into a total and complete different woman when the Lord sends your Boaz! Remember initially Esther got the attention of the king because she was beautiful.
You ask, God what did I do? What about the characteristics of love because its more than just a flesh thing. I won't go into that, but I will point you to the scripture to read (I Cor 13). Your temper, your attitude, your demeanor, the evil eye all of these do not point to Godly character or acts of love. Backslidding into characteristics of the flesh will get you single again quicker than hot weather in July. You still have to be a woman of God whether you are in a relationship or not. That is the point I'm trying to make. One thing that women forget is that we are supposed to treat the men and women of God well and especially those of the household of faith (Gal 6:10). Did we forget this is a man of God? Just because he's your boo, doesn't mean you get a pass on not following the scripture. Don't be evil to him and nice to everyone else. You turn on the charm when the pastor comes around and turn it off when he leaves because you want your man to know that you are not feeling him right now. As we say in Texas, "that's a hot mess!"
I'm going to leave you all alone because I could go on forever and into so many more areas of concern for us. The "is it me Lord" should be a question that we should ask ourselves and strive to find ways to improve not try to conform someone to accept our character flaws. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who is going to flip on them. It may be you in some areas. Use this time as opportunity to explore those places. Learn some consistency in your walk as a woman of God. Remember who you are no matter who you deal with. It is more important to be a woman of noble character in your house and around your people because that is where the real battle and tests are. That is where the real you will manifest. That is where you make full proof of who you are as a woman of God.
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