We've been discussing this morning some of the reasons that single women in the church are still single. The church is very closed minded with the interpretation of the scripture not considering what other Godly women of times past have done to obtain favor for husbands. One of my facebook sisters posed a question about online Christian dating sites. I chimed in along with many other people. Some felt that it was women seeking out a husband when you join a site. While others agreed with me that using wisdom to position yourself so that you can be found is permissible. One of my brothers brought the scripture to our attention to confirm these words that were shared.
If you will look at the story of Boaz and Ruth, the great story that many like to refer back to because everyone is always stating that they believe God for their Boaz. But let's look at what Ruth did to obtain favor in his eyes and capture his attention and heart. First Naomi sought out near kindred for Ruth. How else would anyone know who she was or even come to find her unless she was in a place to be found? After near kindred had been found, Naomi instructed Ruth as to what to do to put her in direct contact and sights of Boaz. She put herself out there to be seen. She didn't hide in her tent or stand around waiting for someone to show up at her door. She was out working in his fields so he could see her. Now watch this, as she labored in his field, she found favor in his eyes so that he gave her grace to get all that she needed.
Now people in the church will tell us, no you are not to do this or that, but Naomi instructed Ruth to go a step further. She sent her into the tent of Boaz to uncover his feet. This signified that she was willing to become his wife. She didn't throw her clothes off and make a spectacle of herself, but she let him know she was available and interested in marriage. When she spread her cloak it meant she was asking for marriage. Did you all here me? I said SHE was asking for marriage by spreading her cloak. A man spreading the cloak means he has acquired that woman for his wife. But the woman had the choice as well to let a man know that she wanted to get married. We've got a lot of things twisted in scripture and how we do things in church. As a consequence, there are women who sit year after year by themselves thinking somebody is just going to show up out of the blue. That might be true in some cases, but often it is not. We've built a whole doctrine off of, he who finds a wife finds a good thing without knowing specifically what that scripture means.
If we reference Proverbs 31 which talks about finding a virtuous woman, I noticed also that the word find is indicated in this particular scripture. Finding just any wife does not give a man favor, but finding a virtuous woman gives him favor. Anybody can get married. People in the world do it all the time. If it was just getting married to a woman that gives you favor, then everybody partakes in the blessings meant for God's man. There is a difference between finding and marrying a virtuous woman and just finding a woman to wife. There is something that a virtuous woman brings to the table that just any wife cannot bring. God honors this kind of woman because she delights in him.
The scripture states, "Who can find a virtuous woman?" That's a question because you do not run across virtuous women all of the time. When you do find one it a rarity and an exceptional find. The word find means to come upon by chance, often by accident; meet with; Something that is found, especially an unexpectedly valuable discovery. It can also mean to discover by searching or making an effort. The latter part does not dismiss the first part. So, one way of finding does not cancel out the other. We've been going by the second definition and ignoring the first. Because the word has more than one meaning it doesn't mean one meaning of the word isn't as significant as the other. If we reference the virtuous woman scripture it is confirmed that the discovery of such a woman is an unexpected but valuable discovery that is a rarity, and not common. So one can search for such a value or can find it unexpectedly. A great many people have struck oil in their yards without trying and some dig for years and never strike it rich. The bottom line is that we cannot limit God in how he does things. No more than we can say a man can only find a wife by searching, than saying that a woman can only find a husband by sitting and waiting. It’s as if we think God has nothing to do with giving us instructions or wisdom on how to obtain what we want. We have learned there is only one way to find something and that is to let it find us. What about positioning yourself to be found?
How many people are telling you that you cannot position yourself or even let someone know you are interested because you are going against the word of God? Really? If that is the case then the examples of virtuous women that we have used for many years to model our walks with God after, which have done the very thing that we have been told not to do. Were they wrong too? So who’s right or who’s wrong could it be our boxed interpretation of the scripture?
No one is going to walk up to your door, knock and tell you God said you're my wife, while you're hiding in your house afraid to position yourself. How in the world can anyone ever know the jewel you are if it is hid? If Ruth had not been out in the field working and positioning herself to capture Boaz's favor, she would not have won his heart. What if she just said, no, I'll just stay here in the tent and wait to see what happens? It is so unfortunate, so many single ladies in the church just sitting within those four walls afraid to do anything or go anywhere. There is, however, a fine line between positioning yourself and putting yourself out there like the people in the world.
I'm not telling you to go out and run the brothers down, I'm saying position yourselves just as Ruth did by putting yourself in visual range of what you hear God saying to you. Let's ensure the man is single, of course. Find yourself working and doing the will of the Lord. Though Ruth had aligned herself to obtain favor, she did so in a Godly manner and one that did not bring shame or reproach to her name. Now, that right there is another blog discussion. I'm certainly not encouraging anyone to behave in an ungodly and unseemly manner. I am encouraging you to take steps if you so desire to marry to position yourself in direct line with who you believe is your Boaz so that you can obtain favor in his sight. If he isn't interested, then you haven't lost anything. Men get rejected every day and they go on and so can you. I've certainly had my share of no interest as many other women have. Everybody is not going to share the same enthusiasm you have about them. Don't be afraid of rejection. Just press on my lovely sisters but stay in position.
This is Excellent!
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