This is such a complex question and I'm sure depending on who you ask, you will get a different answer. The super-spiritual will say, no need to date, you will just know. Then there are the ones who tell you dig in but don't have too much fun. It's so very complicated. Times have changed and people even in the church play games and keep up foolishness. You never know if they're being real or not, if they're wasting your time or not, and if you're old school like me, you just believe people would be honest enough to say "I like you, but it's really not a love connection". You know what I mean. It's crazy girlfriends.
So, one of the things I've learned from a close friend of mine is, you cannot take meeting someone or even going out on a date too seriously. Men do not think like us. Most of them allow their gender parts to dictate their pursuit. You understand what I mean? So, they can have a great conversation with you and you think everything went well and look forward to seeing them again, but if the sexual attraction isn't there then they have moved on. A intellectual or emotional connection means little to nothing. While you are still waiting by the phone for them to call thinking you had a great time, they have started talking to someone else about going out. So, really it's so important to not get too overly excited about meeting someone if you are not sure they feel the same way. After all, it's just a meeting, not a relationship.
Back in the day, people were just a little more real and a little more honest, but now you have to deal with folks in the church who operate like the people in the world. So, you must use a little more reserve in investing your emotion, heart, and time into someone who has not made the same commitment to you. If you have not had that conversation with them, then why are you waiting around for them to call if someone else is interested and pursuing you? I had to pause for a moment and think about that for a minute as a friend told me that. A wow moment indeed. If you've been married then you are used to dealing with just one person and that's why it's so easy to put too much emphasis on one individual. This is a mentality that we have to switch out of when we enter into being single.
Our minds want to think that we've locked into something when we really haven't. Then we think something is wrong with us. We begin to beat ourselves up because someone didn't like us when we know we are likeable. However, if it is not God, do you really want that in your life? I think not. You want in your life who God wants for you. So, all the people who dismiss you and don't value how wonderful you are, you do not need them in your life. That is a pause moment and a thank you Jesus moment as well. There is nothing wrong with you. It's not your looks, your weight, your height, your smile, your color, your age, etc. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are altogether lovely and beautiful. Don't ever question that, just know that what God has for you, it is for you. Keep it moving.
Don't accept anything less than what the Lord has told you for your life. Don't compromise yourself in any way for anyone who is less than who God told you to expect. There is something in you that is valuable and God will connect you to the person who can help draw that out of you and walk with you into the place where the Lord is taking you. Nobody under that will do. It must be who he has ordained for you. So, don't be hurt, offended, or troubled by imposters. Don't be swayed by those who don't know who you are or value who you are. Don't be moved by a desire to have someone, because someone will not do. The "one" is the only one who will do.
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